Page 113 of The Governess of My Heart
Why did he return? What made him change his mind?
The others joined them and were equally surprised by his arrival, but Elizabeth did not dare to look in his direction.
“I am so thrilled that he chose to return, and I feel so happy about the ball now,” Georgiana exclaimed.
Lady Martha pressed Georgiana and Darcy to stay for dinner, and they agreed. Darcy expressed his wish to see the children, and Elizabeth had no choice but to accompany him and Georgiana upstairs.
Unaware of her struggle, Georgiana chatted away merrily; she was elated to see her brother after so many weeks. Darcy and Elizabeth walked in the silence. Elizabeth could not gauge his thoughts and did not dare to look at his face. The twins were happy to see him and ran up to him in delight.
“Fitzwilliam, we are coming to the ball, do you know?”
“Yes, my dear, Georgiana told me. I am excited that you both will be attending the ball,” he said, looking in Elizabeth’s direction. To her horror, she saw him look at her with an expression she had not seen on his face before. He looked at her piercingly, with abhorrence, as though his regard for her had vanished completely.
Elizabeth could not mistake his expression; his features expressed anger and spite. She had never seen his eyes do cold and resentful. She was tormented to understand that whatever she had hoped to happen by refusing him had finally happened.
He hates me.
She could not bear to stay in the same room as him and knew dinner would be even more stressful.
“Are you unwell, Miss Smith?” Georgiana asked, noticing her expression.
“Yes, I am well,” she said, trying to maintain composure. She knew Darcy was watching her.
Elizabeth sat opposite him during dinner, and Georgiana and Miss Anderson sat beside him.
Mr. Anderson sat beside her and conversed amiably, but she hardly noticed anything he said. Whenever she looked up, she could see that Darcy avoided looking at her. She was tired of the situation and wanted to leave the room.
“I am so excited for the ball now, Miss Smith, and I am glad you will be staying with us that night,” Georgiana said as she left.
“I must thank you for the invitation,” she said, not wanting to set foot on Pemberley. The siblings left Ashton Park, and Elizabeth could not accept reality.
The rest of the day passed painfully; she struggled to act composed. Lady Anderson and her daughter had nothing else to discuss except Darcy’s sudden arrival and how charming the prospect of the ball was. Lady Martha noticed that something troubled her, and before Elizabeth retired for the night, she brought it up.
“Are you not feeling well, my dear?” she asked.
“Not at all, madam, I am quite well.”
“Is something wrong regarding Hertfordshire?”
“No, I have nothing of concern regarding that.”
“You do understand that I am supportive of anything you may need or willing to listen to you if you want to discuss something, don’t you?”
“I do, and I am grateful for that.”
Lady Martha smiled; she touched Elizabeth’s cheek; it was the first time she had done that.
“Good night,” she said with affection.
Elizabeth hurried up the stairs and fell into bed. She longed to pour her out to Lady Martha, but she could not.
Life would never be the same if I revealed his proposal to Lady Martha; I cannot do it. I must hold this secret forever in my heart and probably have to watch him marry someone like Miss Anderson.
Clearly, she had misjudged her own strength in the matter. She was unable to endure his presence like before. It pained her beyond measure that the man who loved her would never come to know of her true feelings.
What is wrong with me? I let this happen. No one else is to blame, and definitely not Mr. Darcy.
The very eyes that showed concern, affection, and love now expressed anger and spite. Elizabeth could not digest the fact that he held her in contempt, but she could understand his reasons.
