Page 85 of The Governess of My Heart
Not only had she rejected him, but she had also questioned the nature of his feelings in the most unfair way, and he had removed himself from Derbyshire for her sake.
Elizabeth hoped that whatever she had done was for the best. She knew the ramifications of disclosing her true feelings and accepting his offer would only cast Darcy into misery forever.
Now, she was on the way to an unknown household and felt uncertain about her future.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Emily wanting to sit on her lap. She carried the child lovingly and looked outside the window.
“I like you a lot, Miss Smith,” Emily said, hugging Elizabeth with love. Elizabeth hugged the little girl tightly, needing it more than ever.
***
In town, Darcy sat in his study, feeling lost. It had been almost a week since he had left Pemberley.
Darcy felt he had no choice as he was certain he could never forget her. His sentiments and love for Elizabeth were for life. From her words, he knew that she hated him, and did not want to hurt her anymore. As guilty as he was of leaving Georgiana behind, he felt it was the best thing to do at present.
He did not want to return anytime soon as he was not in command of himself around her. He wanted to be away from her, at least physically, as there was no way of avoiding her occupying his thoughts day and night. No one knew his presence in town except his cousin Richard and his close friend Mr. Bingley. Richard had visited him a couple of times during the week.
“I do not know why you look so ghastly. Pray tell me, is something the matter with Georgiana?” Richard asked during one of his visits.
“She is well, do not be concerned.”
“Is it because her friend, Miss Smith, is away?”
Darcy winced when he heard the mention of Elizabeth.
“I am telling you. Nothing is the matter with Georgiana.”
“Then why are you here all of a sudden?”
“Bingley needs my assistance as he has bought a property in Hertfordshire.”
“So, you decided to leave in such a hurry?”
“He needs me at Netherfield at the earliest.”
Richard was silent and knew something bothered Darcy.
“When are you leaving to see him?”
“Tomorrow,” Darcy replied dryly. The last thing he wanted at the moment was to spend time in the company of Miss Bingley. But he had promised to help his friend and did not want to forsake him.
The next day, he started early. He had never been to Hertfordshire before but distinctly remembered his aunt mentioning the place.
He finally remembered that Lady Catherine’s parson has some relations in Hertfordshire. He cared nothing about the matter and was in no mood to form new acquaintances or engage in social events.
According to him, his life was nothing without Elizabeth. He had no hope of winning her affection, nor did he have any way to ensure her welfare. He knew the last thing she would want from him was any assistance in the world. That was what she had accused him of; she had stated that he wanted to marry her out of pity. It devastated him when he realized that she could never understand his love. The very fact that she regarded his love as nothing more than pity pained him beyond measure.
When he reached Netherfield, Mr. Bingley and his sisters welcomed him warmly, but Mr. Hurst was still in town.
Mr. Bingley was delighted to see his friend, but Miss Bingley’s over-attentiveness to Darcy made him detest her presence as soon as he entered the house. He was glad when Mr. Bingley ushered him to his study.
“I am so glad you could be here, Darcy. How is Miss Darcy?”
“She is well.”
“She must miss your presence, and you could have brought her along.”
“I assure you, I will during my next visit.”
