Page 75 of The Governess of My Heart
Chapter 24
Dearest Lizzy,
I still cannot believe it has been six months since you left. I am a selfish being, and I want to rant about the sorrows of my life here, fully aware of the reality of your suffering.
Even though so many people surround me, I feel lonely.
Everything I see in Longbourn reminds me of your love, kindness, and compassion towards me. I miss you so much, Lizzy. Sometimes, I wish to leave Longbourn and join you in Ashton Park. I could trespass on the kindness of Lady Martha and get employed there. But the only thing that stops me from making that decision is your welfare. You say you are happy and safe there, and I do not want to destroy that. It pains me to say it, but Mamma and Papa have never repented their actions. Mamma still thinks you ended your life somewhere, but Papa does not believe it. He doubts you are staying with Uncle Gardiner, and as you know, they have severed ties with us.
Though Mamma has spread the word that you are living in London with our uncle because you did not want to live here anymore, the villagers do not believe it. They do not believe in the reasoning. They want to know why you left, and all they have is concern and love for you. I have been asked so many times why you have not returned.
When will we meet Lizzy? It pains me to think we may be subjected to this way of communicating through Mariah and Charlotte. I fervently hope not. As I mentioned earlier, Netherfield is finally occupied by one Mr. Bingley. He is here with his sisters.
We met him at Lucas Lodge last week, and I must say, he is quite taken with Jane. She does not need any persuasion to attach herself to a gentleman of good fortune.
Mamma is elated and is almost certain he will propose within the first week of seeing her.
I can imagine you are amused by this, but the only thing that bothers me is that Mr. Bingley is nothing like Jane. I could see he had a genuine heart in the few hours I spent in his company. He went out of his way to ask Mariah to dance with him when she was left without a partner.
He is too good to be disappointed in love, Lizzy. You may smile again now, thinking about when I started caring about a stranger's affairs. Honestly, I do not know.
I feel so happy to read about your experiences as a governess. Both Emily and Edmund sound lovely and must remind you of our cousins.
We are to dine at Netherfield this week, and Mamma is thrilled about the invitation.
I hope you stay happy and safe there. I wish I could someday meet all your acquaintances in Derbyshire, especially Miss Darcy.
Not a single moment passes in my day without thinking about you.
Yours,
Mary Bennet
Mary's letters were always a source of comfort to Elizabeth. Even though it reminded her of the past, she could express herself freely only to Mary and Charlotte.
She did not feel any sadness in understanding how her parents felt about her disappearance as she had come to terms with the reality of the situation long ago.
Elizabeth contemplated about Mary's mention of Mr. Bingley. She had hardly ever remembered Mary being interested in a gentleman's welfare.
Maybe she likes him.
But she knew her mother would do anything to secure Jane's match with the wealthy gentleman.
She heard a knock on her door, and her maid came in. Elizabeth knew it wasn't time for her classes with the children yet.
"Miss, Lady Martha needs to see you."
"Of course."
She left for the parlor, and Lady Martha looked at Elizabeth with a worried face.
"Good morning, madam."
"Good morning, my dear. I may have to take some of your time for a discussion."
"Of course. May I ask in what regard?"
"Well, my daughter-in-law has the sudden desire to visit her parents. And my son intends to go with her."
