Page 188 of The Governess of My Heart
“I never wanted to, even after I assumed your mother married someone else. As I said, it was a wish on my mother’s deathbed to make Augusta her daughter-in-law, but I knew I could never fulfill it. But Augusta did favor me; she wanted to marry me, but seeing my disinterest in her, she started moving into society with the hopes of getting a suitable match, and she was ruined by someone at one of the parties she attended. The man was not honorable and fled the country, and she was devastated by what happened. Augusta’s mother begged me to save her reputation,and maybe deep down in my heart, I thought I was paying for my sins by saving an innocent woman from disgrace. She was well aware that she could not expect anything from me as a wife except respect and protection. I have again broken a promise I made to her about not revealing Beatrice’s secret to anyone. But you have given me no choice but to do so. Now tell me, do you still dare to accuse me of living a happy life with someone else after ruining your mother?” Lord Anderson shook her.
Elizabeth was unable to control her tears and started weeping uncontrollably. For a long time now, she was aware that the wall of hatred she had built towards him had begun to break. One by one, all the accusations she held against him had withered, and the only weapon she held against him was his second marriage. Now, understanding the truth about the nature of his marriage with Lady Anderson and raising someone else’s daughter as his own was something she could not digest. For the first time, she felt ashamed for not understanding him.
Lord Anderson could not bear to witness her distress. It was evident to him that she battled with her own feelings to accept him as her father.
Just then, Darcy entered the room and was shocked to see Elizabeth’s state.
“Elizabeth, Good Heavens! What is the matter?” he asked as he rushed to her side.
Elizabeth immediately fell into Darcy’s arms and wept in agony.
“It is all right. I am here. Please look at me and tell me what is wrong?” he asked as she failed to reply.
“Lord Anderson, what happened? What did you say to her?” he asked, concealing his anger.
Lord Anderson felt a pang of jealousy seeing how Darcy comforted her; he felt pained that he could not even provide a small measure of comfort to his daughter.
“Nothing. I hope she feels better,” he said, leaving the room.
***
“Lizzy, what really happened? Fitzwilliam is so worried about you,” Georgiana exclaimed as she sat with Elizabeth that night. Elizabeth had not revealed what Lord Anderson had shared with her to Darcy, though he had pressed her to understand what was distressing her so much.
“It is nothing. Our conversation made me very emotional.”
“Was he furious when you asked him to avoid your wedding?”
“He was, but understandably so, I hurt him beyond measure. I should have listened to you both and never brought the subject up. I am so angry with myself,” she said, unable to bear the weight of his disclosure.
Poor Miss Anderson. I hope she never discovers the truth; it would devastate her.
“Whatever has happened has happened. Did you change your mind about him attending your wedding?” Georgiana asked, and Elizabeth nodded.
“Very well then, you can tell him that, and everything will be resolved,” Georgiana said confidently.
Elizabeth smiled at her and wished it was as simple as that. Meanwhile, Darcy paced his room relentlessly. Until then, he was certain that Elizabeth had shared everything with him, but now he felt she was hiding something.
What could he have said that made her so upset? Something is wrong; she won’t tell me, and how am I to help her?
He could see that Elizabeth no longer despised him as before. But he could sense that she felt afraid in Lord Anderson’s company, fearful that her true feelings for him would give way one day.
Darcy hoped that Elizabeth would stop betraying herself and understand what her heart truly wanted.
***
The next day, they started early and were to reach Ashton Park within a few hours. Before the journey, Elizabeth made an unexpected request that surprised Darcy.
“Pardon me, did I hear you right?” Darcy asked in shock.
“Yes, you did. If he agrees, I would like to accompany him in his carriage for the rest of the journey.”
“After what I witnessed yesterday, I hope you will not get into an argument again.”
“Please trust me, Fitzwilliam, I will not argue with him nor will I end up crying,” she promised. Darcy conveyed her request to Lord Anderson, and he was speechless.
“Elizabeth wants to accompany me in my carriage? Forgive me, but this seems impossible,” Lord Anderson finally said.
“That is what she wants,” Darcy stated, and Lord Anderson agreed.
