Page 187 of The Governess of My Heart
She does not want me to walk her down the aisle; this must be about the same.
Elizabeth paused for a few seconds and then continued.
“I kindly request you not to attend it,” she said inwardly, trembling.
She witnessed the shock and confusion on his face.
“Not attend your…” he was unable to complete the sentence.
“Yes, not attend my wedding.”
He took a few steps forward and stood right in front of her.
“How could you be so cruel?” he asked.
“I am not being cruel; I am trying to save you from distress. You have a family waiting for you to return to Scotland, and there is no reason for you to be present at my wedding, as I am well aware of your wife’s sentiments towards me.”
“Nothing would distress me more than not being present on the happiest day of your life. I understand your resentment towards me, and I promised you I would never cause you any distress in the future. But this is unacceptable; you are doing this out of spite and to hurt me.”
“What am I to get by hurting you? Please understand this: we have nothing between us, at least not on my part. You have a family, and your priorities lie with them.”
“Don’t you dare tell me where my priorities should lie. You are my family, my daughter, and as much as you deny it, you are too intelligent not to understand the same.”
Elizabeth stared at him in silence as tears built up in her eyes.
“Your daughter is waiting for you in Ashton Park. I am the child you never knew you had, and I want it to stay that way. Lord Anderson, I do not want you to be present for my wedding. I hope you are intelligent enough to understand my request. As you stated, it will be the happiest day of my life, and I don’t want to see you there reminding me of my mother’s misery.”
“All right, I did make a mistake, a blunder that will never let me rest in peace, even in my grave. I was responsible for your mother’s misery and yours as well; I accept my fault. But can you not see that I was deceived in this as well? I was deprived of a life with the only woman I ever loved.”
“The only woman you state? Then what about Lady Anderson? You married her and have lived happily all these years, and as a result of your happiness, you have a daughter. If you really loved my mother, you would have never married anyone else.”
“How can you say that I lived happily? You seem to possess the art of perceiving everyone’s feelings and sentiments according to your needs.”
“Why? Am I stating something untrue? You married someone else after sending her the money; it was so easy for you to do so.”
To her surprise, Lord Anderson started pacing the room, trying to calm himself.
“It was never easy for me to do so. I did not marry her out of love. I never loved Augusta and never could.”
“Then you deceived her as well. If you think you are defending yourself or striving to gain my favor, you are doing a very poor job,” Elizabeth said sarcastically.
“Enough!” Lord Anderson cried with rage and grabbed her by her arm.
“Yes, I made a grave mistake by marrying Augusta, but I never forgot your mother. I never forgot the one day we spent together as man and wife. There was only room in my heart for one woman whose eyes, smile, and kindness still live with me. I have never lived a happy life, as every day has been nothing but torture for me. Let me make it simple for you if you are hesitant to ask how I have a daughter out of a loveless marriage. Beatrice is not my daughter,” he cried.
Elizabeth stared at him in disbelief.
“What?”
“Yes, you heard me. She is not my daughter. I married Augusta, and I was well aware of her condition; she was pregnant before we got married. No one knows this except Augusta’s mother and me.”
Elizabeth was unable to process his words.
No! This cannot be true. How could this be possible?
“I am not revealing this to prove anything here, but I cannot bear that you thought my love for your mother was so frugal.”
“I do not understand; why did you have to marry her?”
