Page 78 of Guys Can't Write Romance
“He’s taking it out of context,” Chad said. “It’s research for my book.”
“You’re watching Hallmark movies for a horror book?” Carly said.
“Oh, you haven’t heard the latest,” Rhino jumped back in. “Are you ready for this? He and this girl are writing romance novels.”
“Ignore the idiot who smells like a gym,” Chad said. “It’s for a contest.”
“Is this the girl that blew beer out her nose?”
“You remember that?” Chad said.
“The whole bar remembers,” Carly said. “I’ve never seen the waitresses laugh so hard.”
“Guys. Can we get back to the topic at hand,” Rhino said. “The Hallmark movies? The mopey face?”
“I think it’s cute,” Carly said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the bar. “Which one’s your favorite? I think mine’s Veterinary Christmas.”
“That’s the one with the litter of puppies?”
“Yeah. I loved the end where the boy made the little wheel scooter for the puppy that got hit by the car.”
“Isn’t that the one that made you cry?” Rhino asked Chad.
“That was your B.O.,” said Chad.
Rhino raised his arm and sniffed his pit. “I don’t smell anything. And stop changing the subject. This intervention’s about you, bro.”
“For the record, I think it’s sweet,” Carly said to Chad, giving him a smile. “I wish my boyfriend would watch romance movies with me.”
“Did I mention that he was watching them alone?” Rhino said.
“Oh,” Carly said and turned to Chad. “Where’s your friend?”
“She’s out,” Chad said.
“With her boring banker boyfriend,” Rhino added.
“Oh, you poor thing,” Carly said to Chad, reaching across the bar and patting his hand. “So, you were Hallmarking alone?”
“Until these guys abducted me,” Chad said.
“Intervened,” Rhino clarified. “Is there help for something like this?”
Carly thought about it. “I know there’s support groups for female Hallmarkaholics. But I’ve never heard of a male Hallmarkaholic before.”
“I’m not a Hallmarkaholic,” Chad said.
“What are the warning signs?” Rhino asked Carly.
Carly thought for a moment. “I think consuming two Hallmark movies in a row is the legal limit for guys.”
Rhino turned to Chad. “Bro? How many Hallmark movies have you consumed tonight?”
Chad folded his arms across his chest. “Half of one. You need me to walk a straight line?”
“I need you to admit that ‘Die Hard’ is the best Christmas movie ever.”
“Everyone knows it is.”
