Page 36 of Guys Can't Write Romance
“Truce,” she said, shaking his hand. “What are you doing now?”
“Heading home and putting cayenne pepper in Rhino’s jockstrap. Why?”
Daisy grinned. “Can that wait till later? I thought we could go back to my place and get Chloe’s thoughts on our stories. She can be blunt, but I think it’ll be helpful.”
“Let’s do it.”
Chapter nine
Boring Boyfriends and Bikinis
“Okay, this cease-fire between you guys is seriously freaking me out,” Chloe said from the couch in the girls’ apartment. She had draped herself casually across it, legs kicked over the armrest, as she read the pages from Chad and Daisy’s manuscripts. “Can’t you guys at least pretend to bicker for background ambiance?”
Chad and Daisy sat on the floor, their drafts spread out between them in uneven piles that almost made Daisy break out in hives. She’d been fighting the urge to color-code and straighten the pages for the past twenty minutes, her fingers occasionally twitching toward the mess before she caught herself.
“It’s only till after the contest,” Daisy assured her roommate. “Then your regularly scheduled nights of Daisy-Chad bickering will resume.”
“It better,” Chloe said, flipping to the next page. “‘Cause there’s nothing good on Netflix anymore.”
While they waited for Chloe to finish, Chad rose from the floor and walked over to the freshly organized wall of Post-it notes. Daisy had set up an elaborate plotting board that morning, complete with character arcs, plot points, and emotional beats. Chad noticed that this time she had layered them in packing tape to basically ‘Chad-proof’ them.
“Packing tape?” Chad said, running his finger over the laminated surface.
“Shhh,” Daisy said, holding her finger to her lips. “Now, sit,” she added, using the tone she would use to scold a disobedient puppy. Something Chad was about one dog biscuit away from being.
He did, with an amused grin.
“Are you guys seriously going to make me referee?” Chloe asked, lowering Chad’s pages just enough to fix them both with a stern look. “Either commit to the cease-fire or commit to the bickering. This halfway stuff is throwing off my reading rhythm.”
“Sorry,” they both said simultaneously.
Chad somehow managed to remain quiet for the next twenty minutes, though Daisy could practically feel his restless energy radiating across the short distance between them. He fidgeted with a pen, spinning it between his fingers, occasionally drumming it against his knee until Daisy reached over and confiscated it without a word. Instead of protesting, he simply switched to tapping his foot, which she pointedly ignored.
The silence in the apartment was interrupted only by the occasional sound of Chloe turning a page or making a small “hmm” noise that sent both writers into spirals of anxiety, wondering if it was a good “hmm” or a bad “hmm.”
After what felt like an eternity to Chad (and probably wasn’t more than forty minutes), Chloe finally finished reading the last page. She set both manuscripts down on her lap, clicked hertongue thoughtfully, and tapped on Daisy’s draft with her bright blue fingernail.
“I know what the problem is,” she announced.
Daisy sat up straighter, unconsciously smoothing her already-pristine shirt. “What is it?”
“You made boring boyfriend your male lead.”
“What?” Daisy’s voice was almost comically high-pitched with indignation. “No, I didn’t.”
“Oh, yes you did,” Chloe said breezily, holding up the pages as if they were Exhibit A in a courtroom drama. “This guy? Rick, Captain Human Wallpaper? He’s basically Ethan with abs. And it’s a sports-themed romance, Daze. Does Boring Banker even know what sports are?”
“Nope,” Chad interjected with a smirk. “Last I checked, Excel spreadsheets aren’t an Olympic event.”
Daisy smacked him with one of the throw pillows they’d arranged on the floor, then turned back to Chloe. “I did not base him on Ethan. You’re being ridiculous.”
“Really? Because I could swear I heard him saying, ‘Oh, don’t worry about spark or chemistry, it’s all about proper budgeting!’” Chloe mimicked in a monotone voice. “At least give the guy a toothache or athlete’s foot, or something. You know, a personality flaw that isn’t ‘too punctual’ or ‘overly concerned with retirement planning.’” Chad snickered, earning him another glare from Daisy. The pillow remained firmly in her grasp, a silent threat of further cushioned assault if he pushed his luck.
“Rick is a successful baseball player,” Daisy defended, though her voice lacked conviction. “He’s driven and focused and—”
“Boring,” Chloe finished for her. “I’m not saying he’s a bad person, Daze. I’m saying he’s a bad character. There’s a difference. You’ve written a very nice guy, with all the sex appeal of unbuttered toast.”
“I’ll have you know that plenty of women find stability and reliability very sexy,” Daisy countered, though her cheeks had flushed slightly pink.
