Page 131 of Guys Can't Write Romance
Rhino, Troy, and Brett sat on the floor, surrounded by empty beer cans and bags of chips. Across the room, ‘The Holiday Hayride’ played on the TV.
“Dude,” Troy said to the character on TV through a mouthful of chips, “just stay in Montana with her.”
“Seriously,” Brett added. “She’s way hotter than the chick in New York.”
“He can’t,” Rhino said, “’cause there’s still thirty minutes left.”
Brett groaned. “Who made up the stupid rule that they can’t actually kiss until there’s only five minutes left?”
“Definitely wasn’t a guy,” Rhino said. “If guys wrote romance, they’d hook up as soon as he sees her in a bar, they’d kiss, the end.”
“You know what this movie’s missing?” Troy said, fishing a handful of chips from the bag. “A Christmas tree lot in the middle of town.”
“Like in the last movie,” said Brett.
“And a snowball fight,” said Rhino.
“Are you seeing this?” Daisy whispered to Chad from their hiding spot outside the kitchen.
“I’m hoping I can unsee it,” Chad whispered back.
“Should we go back to my place?” she whispered.
“Might as well. We’re not getting any work done here.”
They turned and crawled back out the door.
Sunday night, Chad and Daisy were deep in their writing, when the front door opened. Rhino and Chloe stumbled in, more than a bit tipsy. As soon as Chloe spotted Daisy on the couch, her face lit up with a drunken grin.
“Daze. Your boyfriend’s hot,” Chloe said, rushing over to Daisy and wrapping her in a drunken hug. “Can I borrow him? Please?”
“You want to borrow me?” Chad said.
“No, dingus,” Chloe said. “Daze’s book boyfriend, Rick. She finally gave him testosterone therapy. But you,” she added, leaning over and poking him in the chest with her finger. “You made me cry at the end.”
“When did you read our manuscripts?” Daisy asked her.
“I might have snuck into your laptop and peeked at the pages you’ve been exchanging,” Chloe slurred. “But answer me this. When did you two finally figure it out?”
“About our characters?” Daisy said.
Chloe shook her head. “No. This.” She pointed her finger from Daisy to Chad. “Because I’ve been losing my mind waiting for you guys to finally get a clue.”
“Makes two of us,” said Rhino. “So, this means no more moping around the apartment like a homeless puppy?”
“I never moped like a homeless puppy,” Chad said.
“And Daze kept getting all googly-eyed every time someone mentioned Chad’s name,” Chloe said. “So, does this mean the surfboard wedding’s back on?”
“What surfboard wedding?” Daisy said.
“The one Chad talked about when you guys were pretending to hate each other. Keep up with the program, sister.”
“You’re not gonna make me wear a tux, are ya, bro?” Rhino said. “’Cause it’s gonna look dumb with the wetsuit.”
“Ooo, can the bridal party wear matching bikinis?” Chloe coo’d.
“All in favor of the bridal party wearing bikinis, say ‘aye’,” Rhino said, raising his hand to register his vote. “Aye.”
