Page 109 of My Rock Star Neighbor
“Did you see the text?”I ask.
“Yes.It looks like the text from my boss.”She shows me the text:
Felicity:I know you’re in love, but this is your career.Look at the investigation you just did.Think of how many people you helped by rooting out that corruption.Dating Nick Devlin is not helping your career.Will it last?
“I want you to have the career that you deserve.You’re a great reporter, Maddie.”
“And I want you to have the career you deserve.You make a lot of people happy, Nick.”
ButIwon’t be happy.Not without you.
Chapter thirty-four
Maddie
Ishutmyapartmentdoor behind me and sink down to the floor.My insides have turned to a soggy puddle, and my spine that kept me upright has crumpled, but I did it.I’m not standing in the way of his career.I was being honest when I told his mom that the last thing I wanted was for Nick tonotsucceed at being a musician.He’s so passionate about it, and if he sacrificed his career for me, giving up the Governor’s Ball and other venues, and never got the chance again, would he become bitter?Would he resent me?
Will it last?
That is the question.My feelings won’t change.I love Nick.
But he’s about to go on tour.He could meet a female musician who riffs with him on creating lyrics, who can accompany him on tours.He’d never cheat, but wouldn’t he regret being tied to me?Happiness can be so fragile.Especially when I can’t go on tour with him.Can’t fly out to see him.We’d be away from each other for months at a time.And if a story came up when he was back, that would have to be my priority.The news is 24/7.
This won’t be the last time fans try to cancel our relationship.
And I can return to being an incognito reporter.
Still, it was incredibly awkward to pick up Sherlock together from Luca’s place and then come back home and separate at the doors to our apartments.But maybe it was good that we were forced to be together so that we can establish that we can be friends—sort of.Next time, it will be easier.Especially since now he’s leaving tomorrow, and I won’t even see him.And it was good to hear his bandmates happy about the tour schedule when Nick called to tell them the news that the band was leaving tomorrow and will be playing at the Governor’s Ball in June in New York City.
Even if Sayo and Kyla kept asking if this meant that we had broken up.
“We’ve broken up for now,” Nick says.
I chime in, “We’ll still be friends.You guys are going to be traveling for a month now, anyway.”
When we hang up with the band, Nick says, “I hate that false cheerfulness in your voice.”
I stare at him, drinking him in.“I am happy for you.I would feel terrible if you guys didn’t go on tour.And it will be a lot easier with you gone.”
“I want it to be hard.”
I lean my head back against my door, still thinking of our conversation.
I take a deep breath.Everything aches like I’ve come down with the flu.I feel like I’ve been walking for ages in the cold, chilled to the bone.
Sherlock meows.
I let him out of his cat bag.He wanders around, sniffing.Does he smell the chlorine from when Nick tried to sanitize the whole place?Is it still the same?It all feels completely different.
Nick, sitting at my kitchen table, teasing me, tempting me with dumplings.Nick sleeping in my bed, gazing at me with those eyes of his that really saw me, with that face full of love and desire and laughter.
Nick is going to get his wish.It’s going to be hard.Tears pour down my face.
Nick’s playing again, and I can hear the melancholy sounds through my wall.
It’s going to be impossible.Maybe I should move.Bella is looking for a roommate now that Lily is moving in with Rupert.
I lean my head back against the door.
