Page 42 of My Secret Snowflake
And then the party is over.
“Do you live around here?” I ask. “I’ll walk you home.”
“That will be a very short walk,” Iris says. “Home is upstairs. I keep meaning to get my own place, but now with the uncertainty about what’s going on at work, at least this gives me a chance to save some money. I was initially hoping to buy an apartment with Patrick, one that our neighbor wants to sell. But that’s probably not in the cards now. She said she’ll hold off on selling it for a bit. It has the most amazing hardwood floors and this terrace that I love.”
I should go then, but I hesitate.
Iris says, “But you can help me gather up the votives we placed outside in the garden.”
Is she also reluctant to part? After today, I feel like we’ve developed a relationship—a friendship—that I hope will grow.
We slip out the back door to the small garden.
Iris shivers, and I take off my sweater. “I run hot.”
Iris glances at my chest. “Clearly. Thanks.” My sweater envelops her, but it looks good.
“You have a swing,” I say.
“Dad put that up for us. And now the grandkids use it.”
We gather up the votives and put them in a cabinet by the back door.
“I’ll still walk you home,” I say.
Iris unlocks the door next to the bar, and we’re in a narrow hallway behind the pub. We hike up the steep stairs to the second floor, and she pauses at the threshold before another door.
“I have to open this carefully because my cat, Fatma, likes to try to escape. She thinks she makes a good bar cat.” She swings open the door carefully—no cat—and we enter a large kitchen. Iris flips a switch, illuminating a table. The lighting is dim, and I swear Iris sways towards me. We stare at each other. Our lips are inches apart. Her breath brushes my cheek. I smell chocolate and orange juice. I reach out to touch her waist. Gently. Her gaze shifts to my lips. I shift closer. Her eyelids flutter closed. I want to kiss her. Her soft body is heating mine, and I pull her even closer. I dip my head. But something holds me back. And then her eyelids open. I swallow. She’s so close. I’m so attracted to her.
We pull back at the same time.
“Well, you’re home. I should go,” I say.
“You should go,” she says. She ducks her head. I take one last look at her head, angled down, her shining brown hair, and leave. She deserves a better guy than me.
A guy who can’t trust his judgment. Who read Nathan completely wrong. Emil almost lost his job—and his reputation—because I believed the wrong guy.
And then read Melody wrong. Thought it was all going great.That we shared the same values.
A guy who’s not still torn up about whether he can figure people out.
I say good-bye to her family and walk outside.
I wrap my scarf tighter around my neck. The cold air feels like icicle-nosed mosquitoes prickling my face. The wind takes my breath away.
I’m in trouble. I like Iris. But it didn’t work out with Melody. And my judgment was completely wrong about Nathan. Am I reading Iris correctly? Does she like me enough? Could it work out with her?
I’m happy being single. None of the highs and lows. And then there is the incontrovertible fact that both my best friends are dating her best friends. We will definitely continue to see each other if we break up. What if the breakup doesn’t go well? Will they have to choose sides? Will I be invited to some events and excluded from ones she attends? Rupert definitely chose me in the break-up with Melody.
I am torn.
Chapter nine
Iris
LilyandIstopin the mall between the north and south lanes of traffic on Broadway, sharing the very large umbrella she luckily remembered to bring. The rain pelts down, making the red light ahead appear blurry. The sound of the raindrops hitting the umbrella drowns out every other sound except for the car wheels slick-slacking in the puddles. We’re on our way to Fairway to pick up cookie-decorating supplies for Lily’s festive holiday baking party today.
“No. You don’t understand. I leaned in and closed my eyes. And I waited for him to kiss me. And he didn’t. I almost kissed him. I’m so mortified. He’s the monk. I even called him the monk.” I wince just thinking about it.
