Page 107 of My Secret Snowflake
How can she switch so quickly into professional mode? I feel like the floor was just pulled out from under me.We broke up.
Another woman who is willing to give me up. Not willing to go the distance.
Another woman who isn’t willing to fight for me.
And the thing is, love requires that. I’ve seen it in my parents’ marriage. It means facing tough times together. My parents’ marriage has definitely had its ups and downs. My mom has been frustrated with how much my dad works. My dad hasn’t always felt appreciated for all the stress he lives with. I don’t want to date someone who calls it quits at the first sign of trouble. Or give up the GC position for that either.
But she’s also right. That if I did give up the GC title, and if I never got promoted again and I was always Associate General Counsel, wouldn’t that bother me? Or if I took the GC position my dad mentioned, could I prove myself—and ignore the whispers that I got the job because of my dad?
I stare out the window at the choppy waves of the Hudson River. I have to be honest and say I’m ambitious enough that it would bother me if I was never GC or if I took a job and my colleagues viewed me as a nepo hire like Hank. Maybe it wouldn’t—maybe I’d be so happy with Iris that I would think it was worth it. But can I tell that now? We’ve only been dating for three days.
She’s right. There are no good choices.
Chapter thirty-four
Iris
Wewithstoodthedenial-of-serviceattack. And Hank is actually doing some work now that he’s afraid I’m going to fire him. But he’s definitely not a happy camper. That’s fine. Neither am I. At least my job requires total concentration. I can’t think about the fact that Sebastian and I are breaking up.
Because there is no other choice.
Hank stands. “I don’t think I’ve ever sat for so long before.”
Definitely not a real gamer.
He stretches.
Jazmine:Are you going to the Secret Snowflake reveal later today?
Whoops. I forgot to open the gift that was on my chair earlier today. I was so focused on making sure we survived.
Me:Yes, I think we’re okay now.
I open the gift. It’s a baseball hat that says “I’m the boss.” Well, that definitely rules out Hank as my Secret Snowflake.
“Are we allowed to leave now?” Hank asks, a mocking tone in his voice.
“Yes.” I stare at my monitor, but I don’t see anything.
I was so happy with Sebastian. Maybe I wouldn’t be bitter about stepping down or finding another job. Is Dream Company really my dream? Because I’m not sure I’m totally over the accusation and being escorted out. That was more like a nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat last night after dreaming that Kevin proved that it was my credentials that stole the PowerPoints. I had to remind myself that he’d lied about that.
I call Raphael and leave a message, asking him if he knows of any other companies hiring.
Handmadedecorationsoverflowtheconference room Christmas tree. A red and green paper ring garland loops around it. The little siblings spent Monday afternoon crafting holiday ornaments, and clearly some of those have been added to the tree.
Sebastian is off in the corner, talking to Anita. She looks delighted. Sebastian looks like he’s trying hard to appear jolly and like he’s not hurting—after being hit by a truck.
I did that to him.
Should I have pretended there is a third way? That’s not really me—to not face up to reality.
Jazmine comes up to me. “Aaron is late, and he already knows I’m his Secret Snowflake. But I have to tell you something.”
“What?” I ask.
“I had to draft a policy today prohibiting executives dating and also prohibiting relationships between HR and any other functions because we supervise them. So, I told Xavier Aaron and I were dating, and he said one of us has to leave. I know I’m not supposed to know about you and Sebastian, but did you know this? What are you doing to do?”
“He told us the same,” I say. “What are you going to do?”
