Page 105 of Caper Crush
“Maybe they were pouring it on thick to persuade me not to date you.”
We both stare out at the lights of New Jersey across the river, breathing in the salty air. I don’t say anything. He doesn’t either.
“You thought I would dump you to date Kiyoko if she said she liked me?” he asks. “That’s almost worse than the lack of trust. What kind of guy would I be then?”
That is worse. And William is such a good guy. My face crumples. I need to save this.
“I know, and I understand your disappointment with me. I don’t want to be this person. This is not me.” I grab his hand to will him to understand. His hand is cold in my grasp. And suddenly, I realize that the reason we’re not in his apartment is because he doesn’t intend for me to sleep over. It’s easier to break up with someone when they’re not in your apartment. I know that from my own experience. “This is not me.”
“This isn’t you.” He takes a deep breath and looks away.
I sniff. I want to cry, but not in front of William. I can’t help it. A tear escapes.
“I’m going to go home now,” I say.
“I’ll walk you to the subway,” he says.
A gentleman to the end.
“To be honest, I’d rather you didn’t,” I say. “I’d really appreciate it if you’d let me walk alone. I need to reset.”
Chapter twenty-six
Backinourlivingroom, I’m in shock as I tell Tessa what happened. Tessa seems equally surprised.
“But why did you suggest going home?” Tessa asks.
“I realized he’d gone to the waterfront because he wanted to break up. And I didn’t want to, so I wanted to go home and recenter myself.”
“But maybe he didn’t?”
“You think I jumped to the wrong conclusion?” I ask.
Tessa nods.
“But I don’t want to be this person. Our relationship isn’t working if I am following him around. A relationship should lift each person up to be better.”
“It should. You two do work well together. I think that you’re only doing this right now because of Rex and Peter being such flirts. And your family issues. You need to be surer of yourself.” Tessa hugs me.
“I’ve gotten too much into this spying mode. Apparently, I should open up a detective agency instead of being an artist.” I stand by our sideboard, which is covered with plastic pots of paint. Artbooks are on the bottom shelf with fiction books and DVDs and a few games on the top shelves. “Except that I seem to be even less successful as a private investigator than I am as an artist. I know it’s Edmund or Vinnie—or both—but I can’t find a clue to prove it. I’m hoping tomorrow when I meet with Miju and Lena after the show, I’ll have a breakthrough. I have my list of questions.”
“William is supposed to come with you to that, right?”
“Yes. We were going to go to the exhibit together and then meet up with Miju and Lena. But maybe he won’t come now.”
“You should call him and confirm. You’ve got the investigation as an excuse.”
I shake my head and pace back and forth in our living room. “Won’t that look again like I’m flipping back and forth? I shouldn’t have followed him last night. I lost confidence. I’ll just do it as a stop-by and then meet up with Miju and Lena. Don’t worry.” I run my hand through my hair. “Are you going to call Ron?”
“I don’t know,” Tessa says. “I’m thinking maybe no because I had been pretty clear that we were having a girls’ night out and then he still came over. That wasn’t cool.”
“Hmm,” I say.
“But I feel bad not calling. Maybe I shouldn’t take guys’ numbers and instead leave that decision up to them. I feel bad being the person who takes a number and doesn’t call. Even though I did intend to call in the moment.”
“Then maybe have one date and give him a second chance. I mean, maybe he really liked you and was worried you wouldn’t call.”
“How could he really like me?” Tessa asks. “We barely talked.”
