Page 89 of Is This for Real?
I am stunned. “When did you realize you liked me as more than a friend?”
“I noticed you in college. But you didn’t seem interested in anything more than being friends. And I accepted that. Or tried to accept that. Except it never worked out with anybody else. Plus, you were obsessed with Jamie.” Rory teases my hand. “But then right after I broke up with Marie, we were out playing billiards with Audrey and Jake when you did a behind-the-back shot. Do you remember?”
“I remember the look you gave me.” And that I made a joke to cover up my confused reaction.
Rory gives me that same look again—a look of “you’re good and I want you.” My insides melt.
I say, “It was a look like that. And then you missed the next two shots.”
“It was a brilliant shot. And you were wearing a low-cut dress. But I couldn’t see any signs that you liked me as more than a friend. And I didn’t want to risk our friendship. Especially if you still liked Jamie.” Rory says, “It took guts for you to tell Jamie you loved him.”
“I think I was only able to do it, though, because I didn’t love him as much as—” I pause. I can’t say that yet. “I could take the rejection. He was a safe bet for me, safer emotionally.”
“And I’m not?”
“I feel a lot more for you than I did for Jamie,” I say, reaching out to hold his hand across the table.
Rory raises an eyebrow. “I don’t feel safe?”
“I don’t think you want to be the safe bet,” I say. “Am I your safe bet?”
“Definitely not.”
“Because your dad thinks I have commitment issues?” I might as well raise that if I’m on this new tack of being emotionally open.
“My dad . . .” He hesitates. “My dad thinks you’re very much committed to me and our friendship.” His tone is cautious.
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“No, he doesn’t think you have commitment issues. I’m the one with the commitment issues, per Callie.” His voice is lighter. He’s changing the topic, but I’ve pushed it far enough.
I ask, “So, when you first suggested fake dating, were you thinking of the possibility of something more?”
“No, it wasn’t until we were out dancing again,” he says. And the look he gives me ignites a shiver in my stomach. “Were you?”
“No, but I’ve always been attracted to you, and that brunch . . . it reignited those feelings for you.”
“But you weren’t over Jamie yet?”
“No,” I say, “I wasn’t. It wasn’t until my sister’s brunch that I realized I was well over him. And I was going to tell you I liked you after the art opening, but you said you weren’t interested.”
“That was a mistake. Callie just threw me. And I didn’t want to lose our friendship.”
“Yes, so then my plan was to have a disastrous weekend out in Fire Island and hope that would kill my feelings for you.”
“Hah. I was thinking about trying to seduce you out there, but there were way too many pictures of Jamie.”
I laugh.
We both finish our dinners.
He says, “It wasn’t until I saw you both together again when he was launching your website and you treated him like a brother that I was sure you were over him. And then I came up with the London trip idea.”
“Ah, quick thinking. And I thought London was my last chance to seduce you, too,” I say. I’m tempted to tell him what Jamie said right before he arrived, but then he puts his hand on my knee under the table and I’m no longer thinking.
The waitress clears our plates and asks if we want dessert. We share an apple pie with whipped cream. I kiss off the whipped cream by his dimple. And then we rush back to bed.
Chapter thirty-three
