Page 111 of Is This for Real?
“Let us know and we’ll send him a formal invite. And include his name on the publicity. And we’d like to meet the man behind ‘Rob.’ We presume you are bringing him as your date to the ‘Meet the Miniaturist’ event,” MaryAnn says.
“We’re no longer dating.”
“Again?”
Yes, I’ve been dumped again.“Obviously, that’s not the storyline I’m running with on the blog. It’s not biographical.”
“Oh.” MaryAnn seems flummoxed. “Maybe you have a friend you can bring as a substitute boyfriend?”
I’m not going to get into fake dating again. “No, I don’t think so. I think it’s just me.”
“Well, I’ll send over the brief speech we’ve prepared for you to say at the event and you can edit it as you see fit.”
I email Rafael about the APT-TV event.
I want Rory to readFake Dating Folly. I draft and redraft the email accompanying the manuscript. I write “I love you,” then I delete it because I want to say that in person. And maybe it will sound flippant if I just write it in an email. Even if he says he’s no longer interested. I sign it “Love, Penelope,” then I delete that. “Hugs and kisses, Penelope” sounds like I am five years old. “All my love, Penelope”? I look back at my emails to him and they have no greetings or closures—they’re just an ongoing conversation.
The door opens and it’s Zelda, home from work. I sit on the couch as she hangs up her coat. I tell her about my attempt to tell Rory I love him.
I continue, “So, I’m worried. If he spends a week in the woods with his dad, who is devastated by the loss of his marriage, then I don’t see Rory rushing back to me.”
“Could go either way. I mean, I’d be rushing back to you after a week in the woods with my mom or dad. I love them dearly, but a week in the woods with no Internet, nothing but fishing for entertainment? No.” She shakes her head. “And maybe that’s just me. But he’s a social guy. And it’s November. It’s cold out. And you guys have a good thing going.”
“I’m going to email himFake Dating Folly. I don’t want him to think I’ve revealed too much about us, so I think he should read it.” Now I’m worried I’ve shared too much emotion in it, like all my feelings for Rory. I don’t want him to feel I’ve crossed a line, foregoing any chance of reconciliation. But I am not sure how I would change it if he does object.
“Fake Dating Follyreads like a love letter to him. And it’s not like you’re detailing your sex life.”
But our emotional life definitely informs the subtext. “That’s good, then.” I tell her about theMini Maniacall.
“Well, they shouldn’t think that it’s based on your real life. Most of it isn’t.”
“She sounded disappointed,” I say.
“She should imagine how disappointed you are, then,” she says wryly.
I read her my draft email to Rory, which still sounds too formal:
To: Rory
From: Penelope
I miss you. I hope that things are going better with your parents and they find a way to save what they created because the love and warmth of their relationship is real. I know that’s the case because I see it in you and the way you treat me.
I want to be there for you, so I don’t want this to be a breakup. I freaked out because of my parents. But I know that’s my problem, and I need to work through that. I hope you will give me another chance to show that I can.
I hope we can meet soon to talk. Can we meet at The Barn on November 25 at 5? Evan thought you’d be back by then. Afterward, we can see the balloons being blown up.
I revisedFake Dating Follyyet again. I’ve attached it for you to read. Let me know if it’s too revealing.
Rory and I have a tradition of meeting to watch the balloons being blown up outside the Museum of Natural History on the night before the Thanksgiving Day Parade. We’ve been meeting since sophomore year of college. So, I figure that even if he wants to be just friends—I feel nauseous—we can go do that as friends. We can save that part of our relationship, even if I am not actually sure that I can go back to being just friends.
Zelda nods. “You should send it.”
I click send.
Chapter forty-five
Iammakingminisfor my Etsy shop to give my miniatures business one last final push before I shut it down and look for a real job. Right now, I am making tulips. Flower books are open to the pictures of tulips on the table next to me.
