Page 32 of Beauty and the Nerd

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“What is it, Em? What’s wrong?” The gentleness of the question had her spilling the rest about the night of the accident to him, just slightly greater in detail than she’d told the detective earlier.

“I could taste him on my lips, and I felt so sick. That’s why I threw up on the EMT,” she admitted, seeing the fury in his eyes. “They thought it was because of the concussion but it was disgust from what he tried to make me do.”

“Shh, it’s okay, Emmy, I’ve got you,” Ben whispered, moving them from the chair to her bed, laying out with her. His arms wrapped around her tightly and she let out the tears she’d been holding in for the longest time. The pain of keeping it all to herself was too much and she buried her face in his neck when they finally stopped.

“Feel better?” Ben asked, his hand still stroking her back and she nodded, sinking into his hold more. “I never want you to keep something like that from me again, baby. I don’t care if youthink you’re protecting me, or that it might hurt me, I need to know. You need to tell me, so you don’t do this yourself again.”

Emma glanced up, seeing not one spec of anger on his face, just concern, and she fell even more in love with him. “I didn’t want anyone worrying about me, knowing how close it was. I didn’t want you pulling away thinking…”

“What? That you let it happen, asked for it somehow by even being with him?” he asked, hitting part of it on the nose. “Never, Emma. I know you never liked Carter. You told me that kissing him was like kissing a dead fish. I hate that he did that to you, but I never would think you’d allowed it to happen by fake dating him. I knew there was something holding you back from us even before you told me you weren’t ready. I just never thought it was that.”

“What?” she said, sitting up a bit in surprise.

“You want me as much as I want you,” he stated, his hands gently brushing along her sides, making her body respond with desperate shivers, her nipples tightening, poking against her top they were free beneath. His hips rocked against her gently, showing his reaction to her body was the same and it made her shiver more. “It’s not your body or heart holding you back, it’s been your mind, keeping this locked up, has kept you locked up, hasn’t it?”

“Yes,” she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder, letting his body press against every inch of her. “I know you’d never push, but every time we’d start getting closer, heavier with something, it suddenly was Carter’s nasty hands on me, and I couldn’t.”

“And when you felt me against you, felt how much I wanted you, you went back to that moment, him making you touch him.”

She nodded, shivering when Ben lifted her chin. It had her opening her eyes to look at him, seeing the softness in his gaze, the warmth, the love in that expression.

“It’s okay, baby. It’d only been a couple weeks since the accident when I first let you feel that. You had every right to freak out, not want to go back to something that hurt you, avoid something that makes you remember it. You still do and if you want to move, don’t want to feel how much I want you right now, that’s fine. I won’t argue or be angry about it. But, if you don’t want me to move, I want you to look and see where you are, who’s holding you, who’s touching you, Emmy. Because I will never hurt you. Never.”

“Ben…” She let out a sigh, lifting her lips to his, needing his kiss more than anything now. Her eyes began to close, and he pulled back, making her protest.

“No, look at me, Emma. Look,” Ben urged her, and she did, amazed at the heat blazing behind the softness in his eyes.

A vulnerability hit his gaze when she shifted slightly, bringing him deeper into contact with her body. That made her stop, her eyes staring into his as a ripple washed through his body. “Ben?”

“Did you think a guy couldn’t be just as vulnerable as a girl with this?” he questioned, smiling at her shock, as her hands caressed his shoulders. “I breathe and I want you, baby. I kiss you and I need to touch you. I touch you and I’d die to have you. I can’t begin to stop it, and it has nothing to do with not having had sex in over a year. It’s because of you. I’m vulnerable with you because I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, lifting her hips against his, once, then again, seeing the flames building his gaze. “Let me give you this.”

“No, not today,” he argued, stilling her hips, making her smile.

“No, not that.” A blush hit her, seeing the meaning in his eyes. “I’m definitely not ready for that yet. But you like feelingmy body against yours, it gives you pleasure to…stroke mine, doesn’t it?”

“Emmy…”

“Let me,” she whispered, brushing his lips with hers, her eyes holding his as his hands loosened on her hips. His hips pushed down against her a minute later, the strokes growing harder, until he shuddered, his eyes closing, and Emma kissed them, holding onto him watching his face tighten, his body trembling wildly against her.

“Emmy…” He groaned out, breathless against her ear few minutes later, and she smiled, holding him tighter still. “I shouldn’t have let you do that.”

“Why? I thought you wanted me to know you’re vulnerable with me that way.”

“I did, I do. It wasn’t supposed to be about pleasure though,” he stated, his eyes glowing with the remnants of it, making her smile. “I just wanted you to see that what happened would never happen with us. Carter tried to take away your choice, your power. When it happens for us, it’s going to be indulging in it, in what we create together. There’s no rush on that. I can take as many cold showers as possible or flog the log a million more times before I’d ever think of trying to rush you.”

“I know that and that’s why I wanted to…to show you that I like feeling your body against mine and even though I’m not there yet, I’m not scared of you or this, not with you,” she said, “especially not now. You were beautiful when you…”

“Came?” he teased, kissing her softly when she couldn’t quite get the word out. “I almost lost it feeling your soft hands stroking my chest and neck, your sweet little kisses. It’s going to be incredible when it happens, baby. I’ll make sure you get everything you just gave me and more.”

“I know you will,” Emma said, snuggling closer not about to let him go now.

Chapter 12

Ahuge smile slid across Emma’s face as her dad slowed the car outside a giant building. It was a couple miles from the campus they were visiting tomorrow for a quick tour and to get her schedule set. What made this short trip even better was that Ben was here with her for it.

It was also one of the weekends that Columbia was allowing incoming students to stop by to set up their schedules as well. She was just amazed that his parents let him come with them. Since the night the house was broken into, his mom had been more and more hesitant with him hanging out with her for some reason she didn’t understand.