Page 74 of Striking Heat
“I didn’t stutter,” I say.
Cassie comes over and leads me away from the players and the ref. “Coach,” she calls to Watts. I know she thinks it’s time to get me out of the game, and it just might be.
Nate reads the situation well and pulls me from the game. I look over and see Cori is ready to take my spot. I don’t fight and Idon’t get upset about it. I jog over to the sideline, shaking my head.
“Go get ’em, Cori,” I say, giving her a high five as we switch places on the field.
“Good job, Captain.” She winks as she heads out onto the field.
“Come here,” Coach Watts calls, and I jog over to him.
“Sorry, Coach. I lost my cool out there.” I figure the best course of action is for me to apologize to him. I’m not that sorry about it. “She pushed my buttons, and I’d had enough so I pushed her a bit.”
Nate chuckles. “Yeah, you pushed her alright. Thankfully, you only earned yourself a yellow card.”
I nod. “Not the best show of leadership out there,” I admit, lowering my head.
He pats me on the back. “It’s okay. Everyone gets frustrated from time to time. Just hang in there, alright?”
I nod again and head to the bench once Coach has gone back to watching the field. Lowering myself onto the bench, I look at the clock. Thankfully, there’s not much time left, because I hate sitting out. Usually, I’m the last one to get subbed out. Which isn’t the best for our subs who sit on the bench, but I love to play. I’m no good at being a spectator when it comes to soccer.
“Great job, Captain,” Laura says, coming over to sit with me.
She’s one of our forwards who doesn’t see a lot of field time. It makes me sad because she works really hard, but that’s what it’s like sometimes. You join a team, hoping to stand out and hoping to get some field time, but it doesn’t always happen. That’s what happened to me during my freshman year of college. I sat on the bench more than I played.
“Thanks. I know I should have kept my cool,” I tell her, ready to apologize to the team for my card.
“Ah, I wouldn’t worry about it. That girl was asking for it, and the ref wasn’t doing anything to stop it or calm anyone down.Jesus, I’m surprised you didn’t punch. I would have.” She laughs. “Don’t act like you have to be perfect. You scored out there and served a beautiful ball to Kelsey. You were a great leader. We all lose our cool from time to time.”
I get ready to protest, but she holds up her hand to silence me. “I think part of the problem of why you’re not always having as much fun out there as you should be or why you look so stiff at practice is because you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.Whether or not the city likes us isn’t just on you. It’s on all of us. And even if they don’t like us in the first season, I’m sure they’ll get used to us. Cromwell spent too much money to just walk away from this team. Just remember, it’s not all on you. Next time you hit that field, remember why you started playing and find that joy again. The rest of it will come naturally to you.”
I look over at Kelsey and smile. I had no idea the whole team could tell how stressed I’ve been or how much pressure I was putting on myself. Sighing, I turn and give her a hug. “Thank you, Kelsey. I had no idea how much I needed to hear that.”
“I do what I can,” she says with a shrug.
“You do more than that,” I tell her.
The buzzer sounds and the game is over. We shut them out 2-0. We all spring from the bench and run to hug the players who are coming off the field. After, we shake hands with the Spirit players, and I find the player I pushed in the sea of jerseys.
“Hey, sorry about that,” I tell her.
“No worries. It’s all part of the game.”
We hug and then I head back over to my team.
“Great show of leadership there, Captain,” Andie says, high-fiving me.
“I thought I owed her an apology. I lost my cool, but I don’t want to get a reputation as that player.”
“Yeah, I think the card gives you some street cred. Did you not notice the way your team cheered for you?”
I laugh. “No, I must have missed that.”
“You miss a lot of things when you’re busy stressing about the future of the team all by yourself.”
“I’m the captain,” I start to say, but then I remember what Kelsey told me. “You know, we should give Kelsey some minutes. She’s a wise one. She could even be a co-captain. And I think she’s earned it.”
“Yeah, she is. And I think she’ll get some soon. We need to be better at subbing. But I don’t think we would necessarily make her a co-captain. We have been looking at adding another captain to take some of the pressure off you. But unfortunately, probably not her.”
