Page 63 of Petals of Blue: Part One
“So her cousin makes money by posting videos of herself dancing and hiking online?"
Snorting into my lasagna, I truly cannot help but laugh at my mom's bewildered expression. Declan, of course, is biting back his own laughter too. Felix watches me and Declan, daring us to ruin the evening.
My mom, dad, and sister are over for dinner tonight, and it's only been a little tense. We haven't seen them since they found out the truth about Blue a few weeks ago.
I couldn't stand them being angry with me any longer, so I invited them, and like the kind people they are, they came. Mom still hugged me, Dad slapped me on the shoulder a little too hard, and my sister, Nichole, would barely look at me.
Knowing how I disappointed them and hurtmy family fucking sucks. It's been feeding into my never-ending guilt for years, but like the scared son I am, I was terrified for them to know how much I really fucked up.
This wasn't one of those times I admitted I used to sneak out a lot in high school, and we laugh it off. No, I damaged something when the truth finally came out. Be it their trust in me or the way they see me, it's a gut punch either way.
"Don't ask me why or how it works," Roman replies to my mom. "Blue's in a lot of Violet's content. Most of it, actually. They're cute."
And far too sexy. Watching Blue roll her body and pop her ass out in short shorts online is not my favorite fucking thing to see. Felix grunts, and I'd bet money he's thinking the same thing I am. Way too many people watched my woman flip pancakes in tiny sleep shorts that barely peeked beneath her sweatshirt this morning.
The number of views I saw on it bothered the shit out of me, and I refuse to think about some of the comments.
"Why did she change her name?" Mom looks afraid of the answer she's going to get, and she probably should be. This will hurt.
"She said..." Roman begins but swallows repeatedly as if the words won't come out.
I jump in, because I should be the one to tell my family. "She said Erica died a long time ago."
The impact of my words has my dad's head falling forward, Mom gasping with her hand to her mouth, and Nichole pushing away from the table. I would like to ask my sister where she's going and what she's thinking, but by the time I actually gather the courage, she's slamming the back door.
"What—" Mom gulps and looks at my dad a few times before asking her question. "Do you know what happened to her after she moved?"
"Why? Do you know something?" Declan wonders, looking a little sick and concerned.
Dad lifts his head and glares at Declan. "What do you mean? Obviously, we don't know because you kids hid this from us. And also, how the hell doyounot know yet?"
"I—" Declan stutters, not having an answer to a very good question.
"Derrick," Roman interjects, "Blue isn't very forthcomingwith information about herself. We're trying not to push her away."
"And have you monopolized your time by trying to show and tell her how you've changed?" Dad accuses very accurately, so we remain silent. He sighs and pushes his plate away—I've never seen my dad decline a good meal. "Boys, her telling you a part of herdiedis really big."
Defensiveness roars to life in my bones. "We know that, Dad."
He pins me with a look. "Have you paid attention to her behavior? Does anything upset her? I'm worried there may have been abuse with how horrible her aunt was and the men she brought over."
Roman cocks his head and leans forward. "What do you mean byupset her?"
"Triggers, honey," my mom specifies. "Does she flinch? Hate the dark? Does she dislike anything that might clue you in to what happened and how you might be able to support her?"
My dad nods. "The sooner you pick up on the things that make her nervous, the sooner you'll earn her trust and be her safe space."
"She freaked out in the car when we had the child locks on," I remind the guys, ready to figure this out.
"You locked her in the fucking car?" Dad grits out, sounding absolutely livid.
I ignore him because I'm on a roll now. "She startles easily. When I snuck up on her at the liquor store, she dropped her wine, and it shattered. Then Felix, you grabbed her arm when she wasn't looking, and the same thing happened."
Felix nods with a pinched expression. "She got so angry...then basically begged us to leave her alone." He groans and stares up at the ceiling. "Have we been triggering her without even knowing it since then?"
We're silent until Declan admits, "Yeah. If I approach hertoo fast, it's like her flight response kicks in, and she steps back. She flinches every time I touch her when she doesn't see it coming."
Roman adds his two cents. "I've noticed how antsy she gets. She doesn't like to stay in one room for too long. Maybe that's because her aunt made them live in fucking shoeboxes?"
