Page 10 of Petals of Blue: Part One
Then, as if the entire world holds its breath, the bluegoddess on her knees before mefinallylooks me in the eye. Unlike the rest of the world, I don't think I'll take another breath again.
Slowly, as if threatening me, she stands. Those ice-blue eyes that I dream about every motherfucking night stare me down with a fiery rage that I never would have expected from my childhood friend.
"Erica..." I breathe, shocked and completely devastated. Nothing else infiltrates my mind, no questions of how she's here right now, or wondering why she's with me. All I can think about is how much I've missed her. "Eri?—"
"I disagree," Erica cuts me off. While her eyes are filled with absolute rage and hurt, her beautiful face is cold and shut off. "I completely disagree, Felix. You aren't loyal."
I open my mouth, but she steps back and waves her hand as if to silence me. "You lied to me now, just like you did then.I'll always be here for you, Erica, no matter how far away I am."
I remember promising her that. She was sixteen and sad that I didn't go to the same school as her. Erica was struggling with her home life, and I always did everything I could to help her.
Until I didn't.
"Erica," I plead, reaching for her, only to crash to my knees because where else would I be? I'm exactly where I deserve to be. On my knees with my pants holding me in place in front of my first love. Myonlylove.
Her lips curl, breaking the cool facade. "My name isBlue, asshole."
But she's not. Her name is Erica.
"You know," she giggles, and my heart thumps in tune with her anger. "You were the last one I spoke to. The last one who blocked me."
"I—"
"You don't get to speak!" she screams, then turns away from me but not before I see the tears streaming down hercheeks. "Where wasloyalFelix when I begged him to help me? When I told him my aunt’s new boyfriend was hurting me, huh? Where was this loyalty when I feared I might besexually assaulted?!"
No...She couldn't have been...
"Where was your loyalty?!WHERE WERE YOU,FELIX?!"
A gunshot to my heart would have hurt less. "Erica?—"
Whirling around, Erica looks fucking feral anddestroyed. "NO! My name isBlue!Erica died a long ass time ago."
I didn't think I could feel any worse, but when she wipes her cheeks and straightens her shoulders, I die inside. Begging her to stop would be wrong, but, fucking hell, I feel like she's filleting me from the inside out.
"You, Jared, Declan, and Roman let sweet Erica go, and so did I. Except the difference between you and me? I didn't have a choice. Youchoseto abandon me to a line of abusive predators."
"No—"
She rushes me, fury and so much pain twisting her beauty. "Just shut up! Stop! What makes you think you have any right to invalidate my feelings or the horrors I survived?!"
Kill me now.
"Goodbye, Felix."
Wait WHAT?!
A soft breeze tickles my cheek, sending my panic higher as my girl leaves. When the door slams in my face, I finally snap out of it, only to trip over my fucking jeans and crash into the wall.
"Fuck!"
What have I done?
Seven
BLUE
No, no, no! This can't be happening!
