Page 72 of Hate the Game
“Answer me! You called her names?” Ryder’s teeth were bared, his fury palpable.
I shoved him back, just as angry at having to explain something that wasn’t meant to be heard by anyone else. They were making it sound wrong and dirty but it hadn’t felt that way in the moment with Savannah. I hated the way my body responded, the way my face heated from the embarrassment of being called out. “It was part of the moment. Jesus. I don’t have you explain the shit you do in private. It wasn’t a fucking insult.”
“How do you know she didn’t hear it as one?” Ryder’s fists were balled tight and I knew him well enough to know that he wanted nothing more for me to answer his question in a way he didn’t like so he could hit me.
“Because she shoved her hand between her thighs and got off in seconds after it.” My chest was heaving with anger and shame, just as ready for a fight as he was. “Because I know her well enough to trust that she knows I don’t think like that about her.”
“Not even after finding out she was with me last night?”
“No! Do you think badly of her after seeing what you saw? You want to call her names and shame her?” I watched him shake his head and threw my hands up. “See! I didn’t know she was with you but I knew she’d been with Ryder. It didn’t stop me. It didn’t make me think any less of her. It didn’t make me want her any less.”
I dropped down on the stairs and stared down at the field. Everything looked so small and so far away. I had the unhinged feeling that I shouldn’t be so far from Savannah. She would need me to comfort her. I should’ve gone after her. There was no telling what she was thinking.
“What the fuck are we doing?” Cole sank down beside me and scrubbed his hands down his face. “She’s here to trash us. We know that. We know that she wants to take us down. And yet…”
“We’re all acting like a bunch of addicted assholes.” Ryder sat down on my other side. “It doesn’t feel like she wanted to trash us anymore.”
I agreed. No matter how stupid it probably made me, I felt like she liked us. “I don’t know if I care anymore. I like her. I’m not backing down.”
“Same. I have something real with her.” Cole swallowed so loud that it was audible and stared at the field. “As fucking scary as that is. How the hell did I catch feelings for the one woman on campus literally here just to hurt us?”
“If none of us are backing down… Where do we go from here?” I looked over at Ryder. “You didn’t even have to say anything. I already know you aren’t walking away from her. You weren’t pissed at me for hooking up with her, you were angry that I might’ve hurt her. You care about her.”
He shifted and when he finally looked back at me there was something close to self-doubt in his gaze. “She wants all three of us. We all want her. You’re right about me not being upset about you hooking up with her. I’m jealous, yeah, but…it’s not like you’re some random asshole.”
Cole cleared his throat. “If we’re all being painfully honest… I wanted to see.”
Shock rocked me. “You wanted to see what? Her? With me?”
He blew out a shaky breath and stood up, moving away from us. “It’s nothing weird. I didn’t want to see your dick or anything. I just wanted to see her. I wanted to see if she made the same faces for you that she did for me. I wanted to see what she looked like on her knees.”
The air around us seemed to go still. Ryder was the first to make a sound, a slight clearing of his throat. “And?”
Cole shuddered. “It didn’t disappoint.”
“You weren’t pissed?” I realized I was talking just as quietly as them, like were were afraid to break whatever hush had settled over us.
“Not about the blow job. Just about how easily someone else could’ve seen her like that.” He rubbed his face again. “What does any of this mean?”
“Think it means you liked seeing Jax’s dong.” Ryder’s snort and the shit-eating grin on his face gave away that he was joking. It broke the tension between the three of us and he just laughed when I shoved him.
“I wasn’t greedy.” I didn’t know when I felt the need to clarify that while I might’ve been an asshole in how I protected herfrom being caught, I hadn’t been an asshole all the way around. “I got her off first.”
Ryder looked up at a bird flying overhead. “Fingers or tongue?”
“Tongue.” I shook my head at how strange it was, what we were doing. “She’s delicious. I highly recommend it.”
Cole dropped down in one of the seats next to us and tipped his head back. “Are we fucked up? Where are we going with this? It’s not like she would ever be okay with me watching or you assholes watching, or…doing anything at the same time. She sprinted out of Coach’s office so fast earlier.”
“Oh, fuck you.” My voice was harsh and I immediately shoved my knuckles into my eyes. “I don’t need help filling my deviant brain with images. Don’t say shit like that.”
“You mean shit like us taking her at the same time?” Cole glanced at me and smirked. “If I have to suffer with it, so do you.”
Ryder groaned. “Shut the hell up. Both of you. It’ll never happen.”
I agreed. Savannah would never. She’d think we were perverted assholes who just wanted to use her. “We should find her and make sure she’s okay.”
“Let’s go then. And when we find her, what do we say? Don’t be embarrassed about that because it turns out we want to watch?” Cole groaned. “She’s going to have so much ammo for her article.”
