Page 46 of Hate the Game
I gritted my teeth as she stumbled to her feet on shaky legs and ran her hands through her hair. She was curling in on herself right in front of my eyes. I hated it. “Savannah,-”
“You’re right. It’s super late.” She wouldn’t look at me as she grabbed our drinks and motioned for me to move off the blanket.
“Savannah,-”
“It’s fine, Cole.” Her voice shook. “Whatever you’re going to say, it’s fine. I’m not… I’m not going to go all crazy on you. Let’s just go. I’m exhausted.”
I swore and grabbed the rest of the stuff. It was good that she didn’t want to talk. It was better that way. It would’ve been awkward to have to spell it out to her that I didn’t want anything more. Even if it was a lie. Even if I felt like throwing up.
***Savannah***
Staring at my ceiling through the night and into the next day wasn’t getting me anywhere. I was straining to hear movement in the hallway outside my door and it was making me crazy. The day and night before with Cole kept playing through my head time and time again and it was making me want to pull my hair out. Mainly because it always ended the same way. With Cole stiffening under me and pushing me away like I was spoiled milk. And then that painfully awkward drive back to campus.
I was an idiot. I’d thrown myself at him and he’d pushed me away without even trying to get anything for himself. That was how little he wanted me. I was mortified. I’d thrown myself at one of the guys I was supposed to be exposing and I’d writhed and moaned on top of him. My face was still burning up from the shame.
I had to get out of my room but I was too terrified of being on campus because the idea of running into Cole was too awful. There was only one place that I wanted to be and would feel safe. Barely two minutes after I texted Blaire she replied with her dorm and room number, an open invite to come over. When Iasked her if I could shower at her dorm she didn’t even demand answers. She just told me to come.
I packed a bag and was seriously considering crawling out of my window and risking life and limb to avoid possibly running into any of The Apex Three. The only thing that stopped me was the embarrassment I’d feel if I didn’t die and people had to find me on the sidewalk below in a broken heap. I snuck out like a cat burglar and kept my head down as I rushed across campus to Blaire’s dorm. By the time I got to the building I was out of breath and sweating but Blaire didn’t mention either when I knocked at her door a few minutes later. She just pointed me to the shower and patted me on the back as I went.
Being clean helped me feel a bit better. Finding chocolate chip cookies waiting for me in Blaire’s room made me feel a lot better. She held up her hand when I started to talk and just pointed to the cookies.
“Eat at least three before you start talking. And get ready to make some art. Your energy is all sorts of dingy right now.”
I made it through two cookies and had my hand on a marker before I burst. “Cole made me come on the side of a mountain last night and then he got weird and I got weird and I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. We’d just had a conversation about how he wasn’t into serious relationships, not that I want one with him, but we had this intense moment and he was holding me and then he just…got weird.”
“How’d he make you come? I need to know because I’m one thousand months pregnant and I feel like someone clipped a live wire to my-” She cut herself off. “You know what? Just tell me about your experience and I’ll be quiet.”
“What were you going to say? I’ve read about pregnant women getting extra horny. True or false?” I looked down at the blank sheet of paper in front of me and drew an angry red line across it.
“Painfully true. Or at least, I think so. I don’t have much experience outside of being pregnant so…” She huffed. “Yeah. Enough about me. Tell me everything about you.”
I shoved another cookie in my mouth and slumped back against her bed. “I’ve made a mess of things.”
“I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. Spill it. That’ll help sort it.”
So I did. I spilled everything about my time with the guys, even her brother. Of course, I didn’t mention my real reason for being at USC. I couldn’t. It was enough to have to admit that I’d sort of hooked up with three different men, all who happened to be best friends.
“Jax took you to a bar with line dancing? Are you sure it was my brother? Perfect, golden boy Jax took you to a bar and then pinned you to the side of his truck and felt you up?” She shuddered. “I can’t picture it, thank god, but even the idea makes me want to poke my eyes out.”
“I take no joy in telling you about your brother. I know it’s weird. Kick me out if you need to. I definitely don’t feel like I deserve cookiesandyour kindness.”
She rolled her eyes and leaned back, hands going to her back. “You don’t think you deserve it? Why not?”
“I’ve hooked up in some way with all three of them, Blaire. I’m supposed to be interviewing them for the article but instead I’m practically humping their legs. All three of them. Three. Clearly there’s something wrong with me.” I dropped my marker and motioned to her back. “I grew up rubbing my brothers’ backs after games. Want me to help?”
She moaned. “More than anything. I need to tell you something first, though. You have to promise not to ever mutter a single word to anyone, though. Especially to my brother.”
“I promise. No matter what.” I leaned over and grinned at her as we locked pinkies. “I’d never do that to you, Blaire.”
A wave of guilt hit me. I was planning to do it to her brother. I had no right to ask her to trust me or ever know her secrets.
“I lost my virginity after a game last year. And then this…” She motioned to her stomach. “This happened. I got pregnant after just one time.”
“After just one time? Damn. Fate wanted you pregnant.”
“Well. The secret part is that it makes sense that I got knocked up because that one time wasn’t exactly normal…” She covered her face and said her next sentence in a rush. “Isleptwiththreemenatthesametime.”
I frowned. “What?”
