Page 24 of Sour
I struggled to watch as my stepfather quickly shut the bedroom door.
No.
He returned to the bed and unlatched his belt, ripping it from his pants, unbuttoning them as he walked closer to the foot of the bed.
No!
The cigarette burned between Erek’s lips. He wasted no time and grabbed my legs, yanking me towards him. “No!” I shouted, trying to break free. He ignored me and yanked harder, forcing my body around and securing my wrists behind my back with his belt. Tears poured from my eyes as I tried to fight back, but Erek forcefully shoved my face down making it land against mymomma’s leg. I was in so much pain, only partially lucid from Erek’s beating. I begged him to stop, cried for him to let me go, but it only seemed to make him want me more.
“Erek, please,” I cried into her dead flesh as he pulled his pants farther down. “Please!” My stepfather pulled my pants down and spread my legs wide, despite being drunk. “Please!” I wriggled around shouting for help.
“Shut up!” He slapped my face again, cutting my cries. “You made me do this,” he huffed, pressing the lit end of his cigarette into my inner thigh. I silently screamed and gasped at the burn. “You made me do this! All of this!”
Stop fighting. The more you fight, the more he’ll hurt you. Let him use you.
“I can't have you walking out on me, girl.” Erek shuffled closer. “Now, try to be a good girl for me.” He violently began to rub his shaft, working himself up until he was ready to rape me. “Oh yes. Daddy’s good little girl,” he moaned, pushing his dick inside me.
I disconnected from my body and focused all my existence on the peeling wallpaper of the bedroom. I studied every detail, staring into the faded color of it for what felt like an eternity.
Let him use you.
My stepfather continued to abuse me, grunting and thrusting like a pig. I lay there, unable to fight or make a sound, and simply took it. Like I always did. Like I always fucking did.
Let. Him. Use. You.
Seconds felt like hours, bleeding into years. I listened to the small rainstorm fade into a thunderstorm, counting to myself as I stared at the wallpaper, crying silently to myself.
One hundred two. One hundred three. One hundred four. One hundred?—
The sound of the trailer door suddenly squeaking open caught my attention. My stepfather heard it as well, freezingwhile still inside me. We both listened as familiar footsteps walked around the trailer.
Ziggy.
My heart leapt.
“What the—Hey Skittles, where you at?” he shouted from the other side of the trailer. I glanced back at Erek, his eyes burning into mine as he shook his head. “Skittles?” Ziggy called again.
I knew if I screamed, Ziggy would hear me. And in that moment, I decided to stop letting Erek use me.
“Zigg—” My stepfather instantly pulled out his gun and held it to my face, cutting off my voice.
Fuck!
All the confidence and independence I felt immediately melted away as I stared at Erek, trembling in terror. He smiled, lifted his finger to his mouth, and silently shooshed me.
“Skittles?”
Thunder boomed in the sky above and the power in the trailer flickered. Erek and I stared at the ceiling, watching as the power cut, leaving us in darkness. And with that, he returned to abusing me, his gun still pressed against my face.
“Koven?” Ziggy called out. I wasn’t sure if he heard me until his footsteps traveled down the hall and closer to the bedroom door. He was walking in my direction, and a sliver of hope began to burn in my stomach. “Koven, you there?” He was getting closer and closer. My heart was racing. “Koven? Hello?” His steps stopped outside the bedroom door. “Skittles?”
Ziggy slowly opened the bedroom and was met with a thick layer of absolute darkness.
Erek must’ve panicked, because as soon as the door opened, he decided to speak up. “Woah there,” he spat out. “Haven’t you heard of knocking, boy?”
Ziggy stood in the doorway, his dark silhouette barely visible in the dark. “Sorry, Dad, I was uh—I was looking for Koven.Have you seen her? I found her bag outside, and the glass from the front door shattered all over the place.”
“Yeah, that’s my fault,” Erek huffed. “I stumbled on my way in, knocking out that old window. Koven must’ve dropped her bag when she helped me inside.”
