Erek’s anger began to mellow out, but I knew that wasn’t a positive. He played with a piece of my hair and eyed me closely. “You know, I’ve always wanted a little girl.” His hand brushed along my face and I looked away. I tried to keep my body from shaking as he kept talking, refusing to make eye contact. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted. A daughter to call my own. Daddy’s little girl.” His face moved closer and nearly touched mine. I tried to step back but stumbled. Erek grabbed me close, then pushed me. I tried to keep us both up, but he continued to shove me back, raising his voice as I began to panic. “Why couldn’t you just be my little girl, Koven? Huh? Why do you hate me so much?” With one final push, he forced me back onto the couch.
I instinctively rolled before he could fall onto me and scrambled back to my feet. “I–I really need to go. My friends are waiting on me.” I clutched my bag close and tried to walk around him, but my stepfather grabbed my arm and stopped me.
Fuck.
Erek pressed his forehead against the back of my shoulder and exhaled. “Good girls don’t just walk away from their fathers when they’re talking to them.” His head raised, but I refused to move or look at him. My body was trembling, desperately screaming on the inside. “Your friends can wait.” He slapped my ass. “Sit down.”
I knew if I did as he said, I’d never leave. Erek always tried to keep me locked up in this trailer, never letting me leave while watching my every move. I couldn’t stay here, especially with him drinking. It wasn’t safe. It never was.
“No,” I whispered. My eyes began to water, and I felt the energy of the room shift once more.
My stepfather gripped my arm tightly. “What did you say to me?”
I turned to look at him, my nostrils flaring as he stared back at me. My lips parted and I spoke through clenched teeth. “I said no,” I growled. “Now, let go of me, Erek.” I peeled his hand from my arm as he watched in disbelief. “I’m leaving.” I quickly shuffled away and headed towards the front door of the trailer. All I could hear was the sound of my own heartbeat, and it pulsated between my ears, my breathing echoing the rhythm as I stopped at the trailer door.
You’re almost there. Just open the door and keep moving.
My hand reached for the doorknob, twisting as it squeaked and the door opened.
Almost there. Take a step and don’t stop. Don’t?—
My body was ripped back from the open door, and I fell onto the floor, my spine slamming into the crusty old carpet as my bag spilled all over the floor next to me. My costume, makeup, and numerous prescription pill bottles spewed and rolled across the floor, stopping against my stepfather’s boot.
Fuck.
My eyes raised to see him standing there, shaking his head. He silently bent down, picked one up, and read the label. “Oh Koven.” He tilted his head to look at me. “You’ve been a bad girl. These aren’t yours.” He shook the pill bottle. “These belong to your momma. And if I had to guess, you were going to sell these, weren’t you?”
“I—I—” I swallowed my anxiety. “I was just—I didn’t know they were there. I must’ve knocked them into my bag when I?—”
My stepfather shook his head. “Don’t lie to me, girl. You’ve lied to me enough tonight.” He stepped closer. “And I don’t like liars.” His reddened eyes struggled to hold still as he glared at me. “I bet Ziggy put you up to this, didn’t he?”
My brows furrowed. “No.”
My stepfather scoffed. “Oh, he did. I know he did. That fucking prick. He’s gone and fucked his own life up enough, now he’s got you stealing meds from your own momma? That’s not what brothers are supposed to do, Koven.” He shook his head in shame. “I should’ve let his momma take him with her when she left us long ago. Would’ve saved myself from years of headaches and dealing with his sorry ass. What a fucking waste he’s turned out to be.” My stepfather spat at the floor. Hearing him speak about Ziggy in such a way ignited something in me, something that was manifesting visually. “What?” He squinted. “Oh, don’t tell me you care about that bastard?” He cackled. “You shouldn’t give that mistake a second thought. He’s not your problem, Koven. Hell, you’re not even related. None of us are.” He stopped and grinned. “Tell you what. You let me help you up, and we’ll keep this dirty little secret between us.” He reached his hand out to me, still smiling as something flickered behind his eyes. “Come on, Koven. We both know you can’t afford any more trouble with the law. And I know just how good you can keep a secret.”
Erek’s eerie, yellowed smile was all it took for something to snap inside me.
Enough is enough.
I glared at my stepfather’s fat hand and said the single word I should’ve said long ago when he first poisoned my youth. “No.” I quickly rose and pushed the fat bastard down onto his ass. Erek groaned and rolled around, struggling to stand due to being suchan overweight drunk. I used the time to grab as much of my shit as possible, shoving what I could back into my bag. It was time.
“I’m leaving, and I’m never coming back!” I shouted.
As I turned, Erek laughed.
“And just where the hell do you think you’re going to go, Koven?” he asked from the floor through drunken laughter. “You’ve got no education, no job…you’re a junkie who’s been in and out of rehab, always relapsing…not to mention, you’ve gone and gotten yourself a nice, long record, thanks to my pathetic excuse of a son.”
My stepfather’s harsh words stung. But I would never escape this endless cycle of suffering if I stayed. Not with him here.
I turned to face Erek. He sniffled and rolled to his knees while trying to stand. “You—you have no one, Koven. You’re a drugged up psycho with an overdue expiration date.” He finally made it to his feet, breaking a sweat. “It’s just a matter of time before your twisted little brain breaks again and you do something stupid.” He wiped his sweaty forehead and smiled. “But when you do, I won’t be the one bailing your sorry ass out. You want to act all big and bad, fine. Go on. But no one’s coming to save you, Koven.” His words stung. “This place is as good as it's ever going to get for you, girl. But if you want to run off and throw it all away, then be my guest.” He spat at my feet. “Go on, run away. You won’t last a day.”
My brow furrowed as I stared back at him with such hatred. “I might struggle out there, butanythingis better than living here with you.” I turned and quickly walked down the trailer steps before he could do anything.
My stepfather called after me as my feet hit the ground. “Koven. Hey! Don’t you walk away from me, girl. Koven? Koven!” I ignored him. “If you leave—I’ll have your ass locked up! You hear me?” His shouts hit my back, but I kept walking.
The sound of my stepfather kicking or hitting something made me jump, knowing how his anger was only growing with each step I took.
Just keep walking. You’re almost free. Don’t stop.