Page 28 of Kiss Me at Midnight
Inwardly, Lily cringed. This was a perfect example of why Lily didn’t date. She couldn’t be upfront about the pace she needed in the physical side of a relationship. And then men always got touchy.
“Lily,” he snapped. “What kind of a man–”
“I don’t know,” Lily said miserably. She hated her repressed tone of voice. She hated that Rachel had been right about her. It was so much easier to avoid relationships. But she was tired of it all. Tired of holding back her feelings, her anger, her identity.
Lily lifted her chin and strengthened her voice. “And the reason I don’t know is because I don’t know you.” And there it was. The reality of this ruse. They could pretend to be lovers, but the truth was there in every conversation. “We’re strangers. What I know of you, I’ve learned from gossip magazines. Are you going to tell me that’s not true? You don’t get to pick and choose the women who’re thrown at your feet? I’m so sorry if I’ve misjudged you. I’m so sorry if I consider myself the kind of woman who doesn’t give out kisses until the second or third date. I’m so sorry if I don’t sleep with a guy until we’ve dated for a couple of months. I’m a prude by your standards and that of most men. And that’s why you and dozens of other men I’ve met would never consider dating me. Your lifestyle is instant gratification and I…I have to trust a guy. Implicitly.” Lily sagged against him, exhausted by her tirade. But there she was, putting herself out there the way Violet and Rachel seemed to think she needed to.
“Wow. I…” Jud ran a hand through his dark hair. “Wow. Three dates… Three chances… And it’s over.”
They stared at each other.
“You honestly think I’d dump you rather than wait until you’re ready?” He watched her intently.
“Like I said, I don’t know you, but…The many men who’ve come before you have proven my point.” Lily had never been this upfront with a man. Never. And because of that, she expected Jud to do what all men before him had done. Turn his back and say goodnight.
“It’s cold out here.” Jud held her hand and led her toward the dining room door. “And I promised Dotty I’d sing show tunes with her in the hot tub.”
It wasn’t exactly a brush-off. But it wasn’t not one either. Lily dragged her feet. “Count me out. I have emails and calls to return.”
“That suits me just fine.” He paused at the door, his expression stiff and stony. “In fact, we should stick to your plan and pretend to be lovers one more day. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
A chasm opened up between them and Lily hated it. She wanted them to be on the same page the way they’d been this morning. Small touches and shared confidences without pressure for more. “You haven’t been making me uncomfortable.”
Perhaps some of that longing came through her words or showed on her face, because Jud’s expression softened. “Look, if you really want to get to know me, meet me at midnight in the hot tub.”
Yes!
No!
Lily clung to his hand, letting him lead her through the dining room, past Rachel and Paulo in a heated embrace, down the stairs and to her room.
And all the while, Lily kept wondering if she could open up and let Jud know her better.
*
“I’m singing in the rain,”Dotty warbled in the hot tub.
Jud wasn’t in the mood to sing, still reeling from Lily’s opinion of him–even she thinks I’m a man with one thing on his mind. He shed his white, plush terrycloth robe and stepped in the hot tub, nearly leaping back out. “Hey! This isn’t that hot.”
Dotty stopped singing. “The older you get, the colder the hot tub. Medications, health complications, vascular integrity. It’s set to the temperature of warm bath water which is still invigorating given the ocean breeze.”
The hot tub was in the bow on the lounge level, sheltered slightly from the wind by high walls and sheltered from prying eyes on the bridge above.
“You look like someone stole your favorite action figure.” Dotty’s short, dyed silver hair was limp against her head. Her facial structure was delicate and refined, telling of great beauty in her youth. “Trouble in paradise?”
“Your granddaughter believes my press.” He got into the hot tub, sinking down to his chin.
“That you’re a talented lothario with a hot body?” Dotty chuckled.
“Yes.” When put that way, Jud wanted to laugh. “Can’t a man enjoy the perks of his status when he’s young?”
“That’s your right. But when you meet that special someone, a past like yours makes it harder to believe that you’re ready to settle down.” Dotty pushed water back and forth with one hand. “I suppose that’s why everyone doubts Rachel’s love for Paulo. She’s led a wild life, too.”
“Do you think they’re in love?”
Dotty tilted her head from side to side, as if weighing the facts. “No. However, I think few people nowadays are inforever lovewhen they get married. They come to the union with a measure of love for each other and the assumption that their love will blossom as they grow as individuals. But the high divorce rate tells me they’re more likely to grow apart than together.”
“That’s grim.”
