Page 27 of Kiss Me at Midnight
Or maybe it was the reaction to his film idea.
*
“Don’t pay attention to my grandmother’s opinion about your film.” Lily took Jud by the arm after the dessert course had been cleared away. She led him out the rear door of the dining room and into the crisp evening air.
The wind tugged at Lily’s skirt and her hair, but it was freeing to be out of Rachel’s presence and the worry about what her former friend might throw at her next. She sensed Rachel had more surprise attacks up her sleeve and she wanted no part of it. But what could she do except carry on?
Jud had yet to say anything. He’d been quiet through most of the dinner after Grandma Dotty skewered his storyline as being artsy. Since he’d been moping, Lily had taken the opportunity to speak more with Paulo.
“I’m not sure Paulo loves Rachel,” Lily told her pretend boyfriend, the one who’d responded so positively to her makeover. Was that good or bad? She’d hate for Rachel to be right. “Or maybe they had a fight before dinner.”
“That would explain the love bite.” Jud drew her close.
Because it was cold and to keep up the dating charade, Lily snuggled into his warmth, keeping her face tilted up toward his to keep her glasses from being smashed against his chest. “Before Rachel talked about meeting at a club, Paulo told me they met at Abe’s office.”
“Hang on. That doesn’t line up with what Rachel told us. Did he add the dancing part?”
Lily shook her head. “No. He tried to recover.” He’d murmured something about forgetting the dancing. “But the entire time I spoke with him after that, he kept his answers short and to the point.” The way one does when under interrogation when one has something to hide.
Grandma Dotty wasn’t the only one who watchedLaw & Order.
“Is that odd or was he protecting his privacy?” Jud brought his other arm around her. “Not to change the subject, but I am. I suppose I need thicker skin if I’m going to move on the other side of the camera.”
“It’s just my grandmother.”
“About that… Maybe she’s right. My uncle says my main character is unlikable.” Jud turned Lily to face him, staring down at her with doubt-filled eyes. “And my father says my ending is morally bankrupt. They’re the ones pushing me to make the next jump. But maybe I’m not ready, like my agent says. He wants me to do a short film or a documentary. But maybe I’ll never be ready for anything other than acting.”
“Don’t stress out about it. No one’s ever ready for a bigger stage. So what if your script needs a rewrite? Don’t they do that in Hollywood all the time?” Lily was torn between bolstering Jud’s confidence and urging him to make a decision about the depth of Paulo’s feelings toward Rachel. Tomorrow was another day and who knew what Rachel had planned for her. The chill wind and the dread regarding Rachel’s intentions gave her a full body shiver.
Jud rubbed her arms vigorously, chasing off the cold. “I don’t want to be known as the man whose ideas need rewrites.”
“Okay, um...” Lily tried to think of a solution for him. “Can you ask your father or uncle to collaborate with you?”
“That’s not the way we do things in our family.” Jud frowned.
Lily couldn’t help herself. She pressed a kiss to his lips, just to jar him out of his funk. She’d never treat a real date like this–with all the kissing. A real date might expect something more from her, something Lily wasn’t ready to give. “When you need help, your family will be there.” Like hers had been when she’d run away. “Back to the matter at hand. Do you think Paulo loves Rachel?”
Jud glanced back into the dining room, empty of everyone but the engaged couple. Paulo had Rachel bent over in a passionate kiss that looked like it belonged on a late night dance floor.
What would it be like to trust a man to hold her that close in a vulnerable position? Lily swallowed and looked away.
“They have chemistry.” Jud returned his attention to Lily, and this time there was heat in his gaze as it dropped to her mouth. “But we have chemistry, too.”
Kiss me. Kiss me. Kiss me.
Lily shivered from wanting and the cold. It was dangerous, this wanting. “It takes more than chemistry to make a relationship work. It takes compromise and understanding.” Would Jud understand how she felt about intimacy? “Can you imagine Rachel compromising her life for Paulo’s basketball career?” Lily was caught in Jud’s gaze, hyper-aware of his lips moving closer to hers. “It’d be like you compromising your lifestyle for a relationship with me.”
Jud stilled, drew back. “What do you mean?”
“I…” Lily wished she could take back the words.
Jud continued to look hurt. “How would I have to change my life if I wanted to date you?”
I was almost raped when I was seventeen. I’m not going to jump into bed with you.
The words stuck in Lily’s throat, held back by shame. “I don’t…um…” The conversation had veered. Lily was still in his arms, but Jud felt so distant, as if he’d moved to the other side of the deck. “You seem like the kind of man who enjoys the company of women.” She grimaced. Could she make it any clearer?
“Sleep around, you mean.” His arms around her loosened, his words constricted, dropping between them like sharp objects. “Sleep around with no emotional connection, you mean. What kind of a man do you think I am?”
