Page 243 of Jagged Souls
And not into my ass.
Needles, pens, catheters. I had to throw out all the metal pens in my office. And then I practically destroyed it, taking out all my rage and pain on objects that couldn’t fight back. On things that couldn’t stop me.
The smell of tobacco and cedar fills my nose, suffocating me with its poison as Stormie traps me in her bubble and in my nightmares.
“I fucked your wife this way,” Eduardo says as he holds up a needle. He pushes the end, and dark-blue liquid shoots out, smelling like blackberry and oak. A different Rick that increases the intensity of an orgasm. Heightens the shame.
A pleasure I don’t want to feel.
But I keep wanting to chase.
I struggle futilely. He laughs before grabbing my dick. He sucks it into his mouth, swirls it around with his tongue to get me hard – not because he’s gay but because it’s a play for power. Power when I am helpless. Strapped down like a dog in a cage. Fish in a fucking barrel.
But I don’t get hard, and he gets annoyed.
So he jams the needle into my urethra.
I get hard before he even injects me, the feeling new and foreign andgoodeven though I don’t want it to be.
He takes his time fucking me. The women have already had their turn, but one comes back to fuck my feet. She knows better than to sit on my face. I tore off one of their lips a couple days ago. Wanted to feed and drain her dry, but I wanted Micha to be the first person I sank my fangs into more.
“Are you fucking sure? Look at him!” Stormie’s words brush against the edges of my brain, against the nightmare as it twists and turns into more memories I want to keep buried and forgotten or limited to just my dreams.
“Do it.”
My heart jerks at that voice. That calm control. That safe space.
I can’t get my breathing under control or my magic. Or my fucking thoughts.
But I hear that voice, and I turn to it.
“Find my hand,” he says. “It’s on the outside of Stormie’s bubble.”
I look, but all I can see is the black smoke and shadows filling every gap in the air, plunging me into darkness. Into all that pain suffered on that ship.
One of the wolves is riding me again. I can feel her pussy sliding up and down my dick. Can feel the shame and urge to cut the damn thing off.
To remove it so my body might feel like mine again.
So this control becomes mine again.
“Come on, Vay Vay, find my hand.”
I tremble as I hear his words. Hear the love in it, the old stupid nickname. I see Rudy signing it at me for the first time and laughing, and my heart twists in my chest.
Beats back a bit of the nightmares with its own misery.
Even my rape can’t withstand the agony of losing my boy.
Tears run down both my cheeks as I see him struggling to breathe. Strapped to a chair in front of me, filled with a disease so much stronger than the one I was infected with, and yet, he still manages to smile. To let the last thing I see of him not be a face of pain and fear. He fucking smiled at me as he was dying.
Dropping to my knees, I start to cry.
“Find my hand,” Maddox says.
I don’t want to move.
I don’t want to fight this anymore.
