I will never give up on her.
Her anger wavers. For a moment, I see the old her. The her I knew, the one who loved me. But then her rage comes back and she slices me with a thousand strikes. Shallow cuts all across my body, including my arms and hands.
“I love you,” I say again as my head lolls. I struggle to keep my eye on her. I need her to know that I do not blame her for what he’s turned her into. If she ever comes to her senses, I do not want her to be haunted by my screams.
“I love you,” I say again.
“Shut up!”
She stabs me in the head, piercing right through my skull and into my brain.
The lights are going out. I see all the moments we shared.
The karaoke nights.
The dinner dates eating burgers.
Her smiling at me as I painted her.
I die with that smile in my mind.
And one final thought.
I will find you in the next life.
Whatever fucking deal I have to make with whatever god, I will find her.
And I will pull her back to me.
Sixty-Six
HER
Turning to Antonio, I place my bloody hand on his chest and breathe, “Fuck me right here.”
I have too many emotions inside me. So much joy and rage and pain. And I need him to fill me. I need him to show me he loves me. That he will give me all the protection and safety my husband could not.
He yanks me to him, his hands on my ass, lifting me up as his mouth comes down. I part my lips; his tongue invades me. I kiss him back as fiercely as he’s kissing me, the last two months’ build-up exploding in a blinding heat.
Reaching between us, I yank at his cotton shirt, tugging it up. I can’t get it off him unless he puts me down though. He squeezes my ass, then lowers me to the floor. I step back and to the side. He lifts his shirt, and my jaw drops as my eyes roam over the muscled cut of his chest. Grabbing his hips, I tug him towards me and kiss my way across his skin.
Up.
Up.
Up.
I suck a nipple into my mouth, and he groans.
He slides his hands all across my body, touching me as if he knows me but is learning me at the same time. He cups and pinches, lingers and strokes. We strip off our clothes, our mouths still glued together, then we rub naked against each other. But he’s moving too slow, and I want him now.
I want to feel the closeness of his knot. I want to feel it expand inside me. Reaching between us, I grab his cock. It’s thick and hard in my hand. He grunts, lifting me into the air. I wrap my legs around him, then slide down his cock.
He breathes harshly as he presses me up against a wall. I cling on as he fucks me hard, jerking my hips as much as I can, trying to get him off quickly so I can feel that knot.
That closeness.
That connection he can’t stop.