Page 130 of Jagged Souls

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Hating Varius for letting me suffer.

I don’t want to live anymore.

I don’t want to keep fighting to survive when I don’t even have anything to go back to.

What about Dayne?a little voice asks.And Lou? And whatever helspawn she’ll give birth to?

I hate her for being pregnant.

Ihateher.

And I hate myself for turning on my own sister. For being bitter and jealous over her pregnancy. It’s not likeherswill make a difference tomine.

But that doesn’t stop me from hating her.

I open my mouth to scream but nothing comes out. I’m empty inside.

Except I’m not.

I have a monster in my womb.

A parasite.

A disease.

It’s killing me.

I want it out.

I want it out!

I want it out!

Varius, please,I beg.

Please just kill me.

You promised you would protect me…

The world has lost its colors.

The birds their morning song.

My pulse no longer beats,

How can I live…

How can I live when you are gone?

I don’t want to hurt anymore.

I don’t want to work through the pain of losing my baby and come out stronger.

What thefuckhas being strong ever gotten me anyway?

Self loathing.

Humiliation.

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