Page 177 of Jagged Souls
“I waited for you for over half a century –”
My throat tightens. Curse or not... “You deserved a better life.”
“I deservedyou!I wantedyou!But you never came!” She clenches her fists as her lip wobbles. “Younever came!”
I stare at her, wanting to mention the curse again. Tell her that I was doing what was best for her, but I cannot. Because I want so badly to believe that I can keep her this time. That once I fix her, I don’t have to send her on her way again.
But I can’t let myself think of that either. Because the gods have taken everything from me.
Iamsun-touched.
I am supposed to live a life of misery.
Aren’t I?
She sniffles as she sees the warring decision in my eyes.
“You want to know why I don’t want to get better?” she asks softly – a bitter pain to her words, a defeated sigh from someone who knows they’ll never win. “Because I know if I do, you’re just going to leave.” She swallows hard as tears flash behind her ruby-red eyes. “And I’d rather have you like this than not have you at all.”
Breaking on a cry, I try to reach for her, but she shoves past me to get to the V.
Fifty-Three
Nameless
I try to pull away from him, not wanting to hear what he is saying anymore. I just want the mindlessness of the V. But his grip only tightens.
“Are you going to fail her like her father did?” he asks. “Or are you going to do something to get her back?”
My knees buckle, and I would’ve collapsed to the floor if not for his strength. He holds me up as I tremble, my heart hurting too fucking much. I want to believe in him. I want to risk hoping for a miracle, an impossibility, but I’m so godsdamned afraid of losing her all over again.
Of preparing for her return, only to stand on the tarmac as the plane crashes.
My stomach clenches. I can’t handle the thought of this right now. “Please… I need more V,” I say through my tears.
My desperation.
My terror to hope.
But I can’t…
I can’t do this.
Not when the grief is too harsh.
And the loss is too recent.
And the hole inside of me is dragging me down. Down to a darkness that only the V can penetrate.
“No,” Antonio says, and I break apart in his arms. I need it.
“Please…”
“The V isn’t going to stop the pain.”
I flinch.
“You’ll feel it a hundred times more when the high ends.”
