Page 170 of Jagged Souls
I reach for his legs, willing to beg.
He steps away. My hands clench on air.
Collapsing to the ground, I rest my head on the hard floor. “Please…”
“You want it? Tell me.”
Her memories rise, and I start to tremble.
A little girl I’ll never get to hold.
Who I nevergotto hold because they took her from me.
They took her and put a parasite in her place.
“Please… I can’t…” Not without the V.
With a sob, I reach a hand between my thighs, trying to mimic the high, the relief of pain that the drug can give me. I don’t want to remember what I have done or lost or left behind. I just want to escape the agony of my soul. I want it all to stop.
Antonio grabs my wrist and pulls my fingers out of my pussy. Crying, I try to tear myself away from him, but he holds me easily in an iron grip.
“Tell me,” he demands again.
“I can’t,” I sob. I hate myself. I hate him. “Please.” I curl in on myself. “Just give me a taste. One drop, and I’ll talk.”
I’ll do anything to forget this pain.
He crouches down in front of me, the smell of chocolate and pomegranates so close I can almost taste it. I reach for it, but he swats my arm away, then places the vial under my nose. I lift my chin and open my mouth, trembling as I wait.
The liquid hits my tongue, and I sigh, feeling its effects wash over me.
It’s not enough though.
I can still feel that hole in my stomach.
“I need more.”
“Why?”
My face scrunches up in pain. I don’t want to remember this. I don’t want to rememberher.
No, I do.
I don’t want to ever forget her.
Oh my gods. What kind of mother am I, that I’d want to forget my own child? Maybe it’s better that she’s gone.
The tears only come harder.
“Please. I need more…”
“Then talk.”
Sobbing pathetically, I try to find the words I don’t want to speak. I tell myself all I have to do is tell him, and the pain will stop. But my lips tighten. My teeth clench.
Some silent, forgotten part of me is telling me to resist; it sees this path as a threat. If I open up about this, what other secrets will he pull from me? What other people I love will he hurt?
He is the enemy.
