Page 102 of Jagged Souls
He shifts on his feet, and I am acutely aware he hasn’t shared this story with many people. The body remembers, and his trauma is carved deep into his skin, a festering pool of infection. “When Micha and her dad found me,” he says, “I was still locked in my cage, only a day from death.” He smiles cruelly, a mixture of fond memories and dark humor. “I was so hungry, I tried to eat her.”
“He did experiments on you?” Stormie breathes in shock.
He stiffens even more – damn near rigid. Stone-like. Full of shame and self-loathing. “No. He kept me alive as apet. I was to be killed after my ascension.”
“He took you as a child! Did you ever find your pare–”
“He is my father.”
Stormie gasps.
“My mother was his ‘favorite,’” he says bitterly.
My heart races. If Micha knows this, she’ll try to kill him herself. He was strong enough to fend off Mother, and my wife doesn’t have any magic anymore because of me. That won’t stop her from trying though. She is a fighter. A Black, a fucking talented assassin.
Dayne starts to shake as he looks at me, and my heart beats even faster, terror pumping through my veins. “I was feral when Micha found me,” he says. “I only knew violence. Eduardo –” He stops, as if he’s trying the word for the first time, finally putting a name to the face in his memories and nightmares. “He rewarded me for that. He thought it was funny whenever I tried to fight back because I was too weak to do anything. But Stefaan didn’t like that. He wanted to put me down, and Micha is the only reason he didn’t.”
He crosses his arms, then drops them, his hands fisted. “She taught me how to speak and read. I rarely left her side for the first six months, and the reason… The reason I felt comfortable enough with her to calm down wasn’t because she saved me from that cage.” He’s fucking vibrating now, unable to stand still. His need to move is so great, that his own body is betraying him. “I liked her…” He takes in a deep breath through his nostrils. His teeth clench tight as he struggles to push out the words. “Because she reminded me of my mother.”
I reach for my phone, wanting to call Aleric and tell him to take me northeast until I find her, but then I freeze.
She doesn’t need a husband right now.
As hard as it is, I force myself to breathe. “Antonio wants her to breed hybrids,” I say, my tongue thick, my throat dry. I don’t know if I’m trying to convince Dayne right now or myself, but either way, I push the words out. “He won’t give her to Eduardo and risk causing a stress miscarriage. And once she is pregnant” –the words dig their claws into my throat, not wanting to be born– “Eduardo won’t be able to transport her.” The risk would be extremely high. “That is when we go for her.”
“That could take months,” Dayne seethes.
“He’ll be using Vs.” It’s what I’d do. “There’s one that can almost guarantee pregnancy.” They’re expensive as hel, the potions requiring the sacrifice of a fertile womb and a set of testicles. When mass is ‘created,’ it must first be taken from somewhere else. The Ricks and other Vs can get by with any meat being used, but when the spell requires more than just physical creation, specific items are needed.
Dayne’s jaw tics, but it’s not his wife who might decide to keep another man’s baby, too traumatized by having lost one already. It gets harder to breathe as I push my senses out towards the house. Through their heartbeats, I can tell Maddox and Lou are still sitting with Krypto, Mother is in the kitchen with Khalid’s girl, and the twins are asleep in their rooms. When at war, it’s important to rest whenever you can. But there is one heartbeat I can’t feel, who I never got the chance to learn.
Sitting on my bedside table is all that remains of a future that could’ve been.
The urge to scream claws at my throat again, but I shove it down.
“What’s the rest of the plan?” Dayne demands, as ready as I am to put it into play.
I start to tell him when a wave of fear slams into me. My lips freeze as my head snaps to the northeast.
I ball my hands into fists. He’s fucking killing her. It isn’t quick. He’s making it hurt, and she’s trying so hard to fight back. I can feel her resistance, her refusal to go down easily. There isn’t any hope inside of her, but there is fire. There isfury.
Now there is numbness.
And then nothing.
“What is it?” Dayne demands, but I barely hear him over the rage screaming around my skull. I want to be her white knight, her fucking husband. I want to slay her dragons and uphold my vows to protect my wife.
Except I never made those vows, did I?
Micha’s stinging words come back to me, how I didn’t have to offer her anything due to barbaric Shadowtradition. I brushed it off then because that was simply how the vows had always been said and I was so focused on trying to fix my bigger fuck-ups. I thought it was minuscule in the face of the torture and rape, but right now, the absence of them feels crushing.
“Varius.”
I look at Khalid. He’s always been my voice of reason, and his mere presence grounds me now. I exhale slowly. It helps that I can feel Micha’s revival. She’s groggy, but her willingness to keep fighting is still strong.
Fuck. This is going to kill me to do.
“How do I block the blood bond?” I ask him, knowing it needs to be done. If my control slips and I try to push as much love and strength down it as I want to, I could use up what little blood of hers remains inside of me. Then I won’t be able to feel when she’s pregnant. I might not even be able to track her down, and the thought of running out right as I’m about to reach her is terrifying. What if I fail to save her again and Antonio takes her away from me forever? She’ll die if we don’t complete it.
