It’s because he cares that he’s punishing me so severely. He’s punishing himself for daring to believe in me. To trust me. To let himself be manipulated by me.
“I swear, Varius… I didn’t let the werewolves in,” I try again, my voice shaking as bad as my hand.
His eyes mist. His arm holding the hammer trembles. As his chest rises and falls rapidly, his Adam’s apple bobs with a wail he’ll never release. Then finally, he speaks, his words raw and cracked. “You attacked Mother,” he says. “You were here when the werewolves came, knowing we were all out. And you can’t…” He breaks off, his face twisting with so much agony before he controls it, flattens it. “You can’t bethat.”
He places the claw of the hammer around the screw. His lips tremble. My gut twists in anticipation of the pain.
“Varius!Please! I’m telling the truth! I’m –” I scream as he rips the screw free, tearing out chunks of flesh, spraying blood high up between us.
I arch against my binds, screaming as my toes curl, the pain rocking through me in an overwhelming wave. “I didnotlet them in,” I cry, my head hanging, tears flowing down my cheeks. “I did not let them in.”
My hand’s throbbing too hard for me to feel the touch of metal against my skin again, but I feel it when it goes through another part of my palm. I feel it embed into the arm of the chair. I feel him rip it back out. Slam it back in again somewhere else.
“Tell me where Khalid is,” Varius says, his voice tight with his own pain.
Khalid?“He was with you. He wasn–” I break off on a whimper when he moves the screw to my other hand. I jerk against my binds, but it’s a futile, pathetic attempt. I can’t escape. I can’t stop him. “I’m not the traitor,” I say, focusing on the facts I know. “I’m not the traitor. I told you about the blackmail.” Even though his mom didn’t really want it, I told him instead of stealing it. That has to count for something – that honesty, that truth.
“To gain my trust,” he spits. “Admit to something small to hide something big. It’s a classic trick.”
“No –” I shake my head. “No, that’s not –”
The hammer comes down.
My back arches off the chair as I spasm in agony. My cries are shrill and cracked, ripping my throat raw. “Just feel the bond,” I beg. “Just feel it. I love you. Varius,please.”
His hands shake as he holds the screw against my skin. Its sharp end scratches me as his arm vibrates, but I am happy for that pain if it means he’ll believe me.
His eyes close. He swallows hard on a shudder.
Hope flares in my chest, but when he looks at me again, it plummets into the acid of my stomach.
“I feelnothing,” he says. “Now where is Khalid?”
“Varius –” My face twists under the strain of pain and panic. “How can you not feel anything? I love you. We’re bonded. I –” I scream. I jerk. I thrash inside my binds as he slams the screw over and over into my hand.
“Where is Khalid?”
“Tell me where Khalid is.”
“Where is Khalid, Micha?”
“I don't know. I swear I don’t… But, Varius, stop, please. I’m p–”
My arms jerking against my binds, I scream.
And this time, I cannot stop.
Twenty-two
HER
It is a terrible thing to be in love with the person who’s hurting you. To feel like you can reach them even through their rage, that if you just remind them of how much you love them...that they’ll stop. That they’ll remember that they love you too, and you can go back to how you were. Just a blip, a misunderstanding. He’s afraid for his brother. He thinks I deserve this. So he doesn’t really mean it. He’s just angry right now, but soon it’ll stop.
Soon he’ll remember that he loves me.
That I love him...
But Varius doesn’t stop.