My heart in my throat, I try to keep myself together.It’s a dangerous thing to fall in love with a dangerous man...
Stopping at the foot of the bed, Varius says, “I talked to Mother. My magic will pass down.”
A tremble runs through me. “How does she know?”
“She used black magic to bind mine in order to save me as a baby.”
My eyes widen. “So does that mean there’s a spell to counter it?”
“I don’t know, but trying to reverse it or find a loophole might kill me.” He speaks in a monotone, without any hope lightening it, and I get his lack of enthusiasm even though I couldn’t imagine a life without magic. Hope is the deadliest of things – capable of crushing you completely if you keep chasing it only to constantly be let down.
How many nights did young Varius spend trying to find a cure? How many disappointments did he suffer before he realized the next one would break him?
My heart hurting for him, I say, “Tell me to leave if you want me to.”
He places one knee on the bed. “Stay,” he orders. “Please.”
My throat clogs tight at that simple word. Struck mute, I can only nod. My hands trembling, I lift the gag to tie it around my head.
“Don’t.” That single word is filled with so much hidden meaning.
I don’t have the energy to mistrust you. Not tonight.
If you kill me, at least it’ll stop the pain.
Can you do something for me, little monster? Can you pretend you love me just for the night?
My throat tightens even further as I let the gag fall from my fingers. Tossing my bag and gloves on the floor, I watch as he strips off his clothes. Then together, we move beneath the blanket. For a long time, we just lie on our sides staring at each other.
It’s a dangerous thing to fall in love with a dangerous man…The reminder fills every part of my soul. He just had his own cousin tortured.But Vinny betrayed him,I counter,and I would never do that.
Reaching a hand out to him, I cup his cheek. He stills beneath my touch, his eyes fast on mine. I slide my fingers up into his hair, stroking him, comforting him. And gods, there is something dangerous in that – a heady sensation that fills my head, to be able to offer solstice to a powerful man.
His eyes flutter with every stroke of my fingers through his hair. Lowering more and more, but they refuse to close completely. As much as he wants this, at least for tonight, his paranoia is still rearing its ugly head.
So I start to talk in soft tones, letting my words wash over him. I tell him about the adventures Dayne and I have had over the years. Not just the funny jobs, like the time we got lost and ended up unknowingly asking our target, whose face we didn’t know, for directions to his address in some backwater town without internet, but the ones outside of work too. The times we loved and laughed and became like family. Varius already knows Dayne is a weakness of mine; sharing these moments won’t make a difference. Not in that regard at least.
But they get him to close his eyes. Then eventually fall asleep.
I stare at him, still stroking his hair, still talking in case stopping causes him to wake back up. He doesn’t look at peace. Even now when the world should have stopped, he looks tormented and on edge.
And utterly alone.
Leaning forward slowly, I kiss him on the forehead. It might be dangerous to fall in love with a dangerous man, but I can’t help but take that first step…
Varius fucking Shadow is mine.
And just for tonight, I am his.
Thirty-Two
HIM
She’s gone when I wake up, and for a sleepy moment, I want to go downstairs and drag her back up to bed. I can smell the waffles cooking in the kitchen, though, and know Mother is most likely with her. Given the lies she has told me all these years, I don’t trust her to know how much I want Micha.
So instead I roll onto my stomach in the place where my little monster slept and rub my morning wood against the mattress. I breathe in her lingering scent, getting stiffer with every inhale of raspberries and cream. Rocking my hips, I groan into my pillow. But I don’t want to come all over my sheets, don’t want to have to wash them and get rid of her scent, so I flip onto my back and push off the covers.
Imagining her pussy sitting on my face, I wrap my hand around myself. A tight grip that I jerk with quick pumps before slowing down as I close my eyes, mimicking that pace she likes when I fuck her. Long slow thrusts that slam in at the end. I groan as I imagine the taste of her pussy as it drips with my cum. And in my mind, I’ve already tattooed my name on her like I promised. The sight of it makes me feral.