Page 21 of Paradox
They’re okay.
They won’t even have to go into an incubator. Thank God for small miracles. Two perfect little miracles, both shy of five and a half pounds. I was pretty sure I’d caused them harm by going into a tailspin over this whole Britney issue. I should have known she was lying. I should have known Gage wouldn’t do that to me. I’m going to have to make it up to him big-time. He deserves my trust, and I doubted him. I won’t make that mistake again.
The nurse giving me tips on breastfeeding is rattling on, and although I’m listening, the weird sensation in my nipple is drawing my focus. This is nothing like when Gage sucks on my nipples. It hurts, but I need to endure it for my babies. I stare down at my son, stroking the dark hair lying on his forehead. Both have a full head of hair, but Hailey’s is so fine, she looks bald until you come close. She’s a blondie like her father.
My boy’s lids flutter in an obvious attempt to open them. I’m curious to see what shade his eyes are. With two blue-eyed parents, they’ll be blue also, but I wonder if they will be light like mine, or dark like Gage’s. They could also be a hybrid of mine and his.Dios! I just want to see them!
Gage is knocked out in a chair next to my bed, Hailey sleeping soundly on his chest. For a man who wanted boys, he’s certainly attached to his daughter. He’s barely let me hold her since they were brought in. I haven’t wanted for attention either, as my husband hasn’t left my side. He’s taken care of everything, even eagerly filling out all the necessary forms the nurse gave us.
When Chaos lays his hand on my breast, I bring it up to my nose, inhaling his addictive baby scent. I play with his pink fingers, counting them over and over. He releases my nipple, body stiffening, face scrunched as if he’s about to cry. I burp him the way the nurse showed me with Hailey, and once he does, he settles down. The nurse leaves, telling me she’ll be back soon for the babies. Even though they checked out, the doctors still want them under observation.
A soft knock at the door has me looking in that direction. I don’t know who it could be because everyone has already visited. I’m surprised when my mother walks in, even more so when Lonnie follows. Mom’s eyes widen, mouth falling open in glee. When she notices Gage, she places a finger to her lips, motioning to Lonnie to be quiet. She hurries over, kissing my forehead before taking Chaos from my arms and devoting all her attention to him.
“Oh, he’s gorgeous,” she whispers.
“He is,” Lonnie agrees. I glance up at her and she shrinks back, dropping her head. “Laurelyn called me.”
“And Gage called me last night. We caught the first flight we could get. You’re going to need a lot of help with these babies, Raven. Especially the next couple of weeks. Oh.” She cups my cheek, tears swimming in her eyes. “I remember the day you were born. I was devastated when I had to give you up to Emilio.”
“I know, Mom,” I try to appease her. All my life I thought she didn’t want me. If it wasn’t for Gage, I wouldn’t have given her the chance to redeem herself.
“What are their names?” Lonnie asks.
“Chaos Emilio and Hailey Corrine.”
“Emilio?” Mom’s eyes fill with tears again. I expected her to give me shit over his first name, but she’s so focused on the second, I’m pretty sure that’s all she heard. “That’s sweet, baby. Your father would be so proud.”
“Really?” I ask, voice hopeful. I doubt he’d want me to get married at eighteen and have two babies at nineteen.
“Really.” She smiles over at Lonnie. “You’ve both grown into lovely young ladies.”
Lonnie looks away.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“Do you want to hold him?” Mom asks Lonnie.
Her eyes light up at the question, but she quickly tamps down her excitement.
“I shouldn’t. I’d probably drop him or something.”
“Nonsense.”
“It’s okay, Mom. Give him here.”
She has no idea that Lonnie and I don’t have a good relationship. We share texts every now and then, but that’s it. I still can’t forgive her for what she did to me.
“I’m going to get Dani and Daniel. Be right back.”
Mom breezes out of the room, leaving me with Lonnie. As the awkward silence stretches out, I fiddle with the blanket Chaos is wrapped in.
“Raven….” She takes a deep breath, lowering her voice. “I know you still hate me, and you have every right to. I’m not asking for your forgiveness, just a chance. I’m not proud of the horrible things I did to you—”
“What? Beating up on me every day? Having your landlord try to rape me, or leaving your best friend to finish the job he started?” I whisper.
“’Mana….”
Before I can even cringe at the term of endearment, the air in the room shifts. I swallow, slowly turning my head. Gage’s rage-filled eyes are burning a hole in the back of Lonnie’s head.
