Page 83 of Demon Copperhead
“You’ll rock the house,” I said. “You will rule rehab.”
But I didn’t really know. Here, all we can ever be is everything we’ve been. I came from a junkie mom and foster care, briefly a star, to some degree famousbecauseof all that. Quick to burn out, right on schedule. Emmy grew up in Knoxville and moved back here out of the blue,but she landed in Lee County High with the full pedigree. Daughter of Peggots, homecoming royalty. In Asheville she might just be a pale, conceited girl with an air of broken beauty.
I remembered to give her the snake bracelet. She cupped her hands and dropped it from one to the other, staring at it like lost treasure. “Iwonderedwhat happened to that.”
I left Rose out of this. “I never got why you kept wearing it.”
She looked at me, surprised. Then leaned over, unzipped her little leather boot, and fastened it around her ankle.
“It’s junk jewelry,” I said. “June gave us five dollars to spend in that gift shop, and I probably got change back. Which I probably pocketed.”
“Pocketed to take home to your mom.”
“Well yeah. To buy her cigarettes and Mello Yello.”
“And you wonder why I’d keep this.”
I did. Wonder.
She leaned over and put her two cold hands on my cheeks, looking in my eyes like she meant to kiss me. But then sat back on her log bench. “Try to take care of Dori,” she said.
“God, Emmy. I’m trying. I don’t.” There were no words.
“She doesn’t deserve you.”
“That’s a hateful thing to say.”
“I know you love her. I’m not being hateful.” She shook her head, looking up at the trees. “It’s why I couldn’t be with Hammer Kelly. He’s that same kind of good like you are. Like there’s some metal or something in you that won’t melt down, no matter what.”
“Oh, I melt down. I could show you some fine broken shit.”
She still wasn’t looking at me. “I’m saying you wake up and you’re still yourself, every day. I’m not like that, I give in. I change my recipe, to suit people.”
Changing to suit people sounded like a good deal. Dori wouldn’t, for me. She stuck to her plan of getting emptier every day. I’d stopped carrying her downstairs now, I just let her stay in bed. I didn’t try anymore to talk about things we’d do after we got better. Dori that morning said we should have just been childhood sweethearts instead of trying toget grown-up about it. That way I could have moved on. I got so mad at her over that.
Pulling out of June’s driveway, I saw a pickup pulled over on the roadside. It wasn’t a vehicle I knew, and there was nothing wrong I could see, tires looked okay. I got out to see what kind of help was needed. It was Hammer. Elbows on the steering wheel, hair flopped forward in his eyes. Knuckles digging in his eyes.
I tapped on the window. “You good in there, man?”
He rolled down the window and looked at me, blinking. “I’m not going in that house.”
“It’s fine. I’m sure they both understand. You two have moved on.”
“No. No, I haven’t. She was the one, man.”
“Okay.” Serious damage here, nothing I could repair.
“Will you tell Emmy for me? Just goodbye, and that I’m sorry for everything. I don’t blame her at all. Tell her I still love her.”
My phone started ringing on the way over to Tommy’s, and I ignored it. It was always Dori, wanting me home. I had a strip due tomorrow that I’d barely sketched out. Dori argued that I could just as well draw pictures at home. She would hold my pencils and ink pens. She’d talk the whole time, and want me to get her something, and cry. And Jip.
It kept ringing after I got to Tommy’s. After an hour I’d almost finished the strip and was about to melt down my fucking inner wonderful metal, so I picked up.
Not Dori. Angus. “Oh my God Demon, where are you? Please come, right now.”
Was somebody bleeding? Because I did not want to see Coach. You get past shame, into let’s just pretend I’m dead now. But Angus was outside herself. I asked if I should call 911, and she cursed a blue streak. No cops. It was U-Haul, and she needed me if possible to kill him.
It takes twenty minutes to get over there and I was there in ten. Found the two of them in the living room cat-and-mousing around the table, circling one way, then the other, screaming, but I got no real indication of who was the mouse. U-Haul was red-faced, rope-necked,saliva flying out of him like a cartoon maniac yelling craziness.I’m not waiting anymore, you can fucking give it over tonight or watch this whole fucking ship go down.
