Cordelia turned toward the other woman holding her, mindlessly raising her fist to strike again, to keep striking until there was nothing and no one between her and total self-destruction—but it was Seren. Seren flinched, ducking her head and rounding her shoulders, becoming as small as she could in the instant before she was struck. Cordelia realized it was too late to pull the punch in the same moment an arm wrapped around her neck and wrenched her back. Relief sang in her veins as she was dragged to the ground.
“Knock it off,” Eunha snarled in her ear. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
She let out another incoherent scream of fury, kicking her legs, unable to form anything resembling a cohesive thought.
“I’m gonna say yes,” Nyx answered wryly, still rubbing her blood-smeared jaw.
It was like watching herself from outside of her body, as though it was unable to contain both her soul and her turmoil at the same time.
Stop, she thought.Just shut up andstop. This is why you failed all those psych evals. This is why you should never have been assigned to the mission. You’re fucked up. You could only hide it so long. And now they know. They know.
You’re not worthy.
Her anger cracked like an egg, giving way to a terrible despair. She fell limp in Eunha’s arms, silent tears streaming down her face.
Seren was standing a few steps away, hugging her arms around her chest, still trying to shrink.
“I’m sorry,” Cordelia croaked, barely able to distinguish her through the haze of tears. She looked up at Nyx and said it again.
Nyx shrugged, putting her hands on her hips. “What’s a few cheap shots between friends?” she mused. “If you want to be even, I can deal you one back.”
“Nyx,” Pandora said reproachfully from the doorway. She kneeled beside Cordelia.
Eunha squeezed her throat in warning, briefly cutting off her air. Cordelia didn’t object. In that moment, she was grateful to her copilot for controlling a body that she, for some reason, could not.
Sophia came into the room, wrapping her arm around Seren as Pandora checked Cordelia’s pupils and asked her to follow a finger. She took Cordelia’s pulse, at least until she got impatient with the attention and brushed her away.
“Let me up,” she said hoarsely.
Reluctantly, Eunha released her. She sat up stiffly, brushing the back of her battered hand over her tear-soaked chin before remembering that it was full of glass. It cut at her, shallow grooves that stung as the salt water of her tears filled them.
“Careful,” Pandora admonished, catching at her hand. She tutted. “You’ll need stitches for that. Or, well, you would have, once. I suppose the medpod should manage it easily.”
Sophia broke away from Seren to crouch down in front of her. Her big doe eyes swam with empathy, and the sight of it, knowing she didn’t deserve a single ounce, was too much for Cordelia. She looked down at her splayed boots instead.
“What was all this about, Cordelia?” Sophia asked softly, channeling that soft-spoken mediator’s voice that had earned her a ticket to Lapillus.
Cordelia sniffed hard, rubbing at her dripping nose.
“Doesn’t matter.” She turned her head and spat, trying to clear a splinter that must have flown into her mouth during the destruction. “I’m relinquishing command.”
A murmur broke out between the women, their voices layering.
“No, you are not,” an imperious voice rang out from the doorway. They all turned to see Lyra standing there, arms crossed over her chest as she looked down her nose at them all as per usual. “I hired you to do a job, and you are going to see it through.”
“Yeah, well, you’re as dumb as they said you were,” Cordelia said. It was meant to be venomous, but her voice wavered. “I should never have been brought on board, as I’m sure you can see.” She gestured vaguely at the mess around them.
Lyra glanced around with disinterest, then shrugged. “I don’t particularly care about the alien decor, Commander.”
“I’m not your fucking Commander anymore!” She staggered to her feet, shrugging Eunha off.
“You are the Commander that I chose for this mission, and you will be its Commander until this mission is at its end,” Lyra said coolly. “And if you continue to protest, I am going to hold you in contempt of your contract, and your grandchildren’s grandchildren will be trying to pay off your debt when I win the suit.”
“Lady, there aren’t any fucking lawyers on this rock,” Cordelia grated. “Hold me in contempt of whatever you want. I quit.”
“No,” Lyra said.
“No?” Cordelia barked a hysterical laugh. “Fuck you. Iquit!”