Disbelief was obvious on her face. The proclamation only seemed to urge her further away from him. Her hand slid out of his grip, tucking itself safely away in her lap.
“I should have told you myself. I’d like to rectify that mistake, if you’ll let me.” Fear curdled in his gut at the thought of sharing the details of that day with her, but it was his fear that had led him to this situation, and this time he would not yield to it. “I’d have you hear it in my own words.”
She slowly dragged on one sock and then the other before answering. “Okay. But not here.”
He glanced around the sterile room, now thick with the smell of sex. The screen on the opposite side of the room was flashing with complaints and warnings from the abuse it had undergone during Rentir’s mindless pursuit.
“And not today,” she added. “I need to, uh, clear my head.”
There was a flush on her cheeks that softened the blow of having to wait longer still to air things out with her. She pointedtoward her boot, flung to the far side of the room, and he retrieved it for her. He had the other in his hand before she could ask, and he was pleased when she let him slide it onto her foot and lace it up for.
It was such a small act of intimacy, but providing for her, caring for her, made him feel like he was back on solid ground. He could breathe for the first time in days, knowing he’d brought her pleasure and tended to her.
When she was dressed, his heart sang with regret that it had not taken longer. She would not want to linger in his arms as she had last time, not with so much still unsaid between them.
She slid off the table. “Well, I have some details to nail down with Eunha about the whole dropship caper,” she said, fidgeting with the cuff of her sleeve. “So… I’ll see you around. If you get the shakes again, come find me.”
He caught her arm gently as she brushed past him. “When can we speak?”
She bit her bottom lip, hesitating. “We’re going to try to coax the ship down tomorrow. We can talk after, yeah? I want my head on straight for the mission. If I’m busy chewing on whatever you have to tell me… I don’t want anything to go wrong because of me.”
So soon? He had skipped the morning meeting with the hybrids that day; he’d been so agitated he was liable to rip someone’s head off for breathing the wrong way.
“Fendar is confident he can get you access to their system, then?”
Talking business seemed to put her at ease.
She tucked her hands into her pockets and nodded, propping a hip against the console. “Yeah, he’s got it down to a science, I guess. Lidan is mostly confident we’re not going to get everyone killed trying to race the thing back to the hangar.”
“You don’t share his confidence.”
She said nothing, looking away as a muscle feathered in her jaw.
He smoothed his hand over it, feeling her muscles unclench at the touch. “You should. You are more than capable. We will seize the ship, and we will recover your friend.”
“Maybe,” she said mildly. She gently dragged his hand away, putting space between them. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said over her shoulder, and then she was gone.
He lingered in the medbay for hours after, desperate for every last molecule of her scent.
CHAPTER 42
“You knowyou don’t have to do this,” Cordelia said for the tenth time.
Lyra gave her a droll look, tugging down the hem of her freshly laundered white tank top so it met the hem of her boxers. “I am not entirely useless, Commander.” She pushed her long, blonde hair over one shoulder and picked a piece of invisible lint off the top. “I think you’ll find I’m uniquely suited to playing the helpless waif.”
“Still… maybe Nyx could?—”
“Oh, hell no,” Nyx said, glancing up from the blaster she was fiddling with, much to Fendar’s dismay. “Don’t volunteer me for that. I’m the girl with the gun this time.” She waved it around for emphasis until Fendar, swearing, grabbed her by the wrist and aimed the barrel back at the ground.
Cordelia tuned out the hissed argument and wrestling match that followed.
“I’ll manage just fine, Commander,” Lyra repeated, rolling her shoulders back. “Just do me a favor and don’t letthat onecatch me in the crossfire.”
Nyx paused in her argument with Fendar to shoot a glare at Lyra. “I do have such terrible aim,” Nyx sang.
That appeared to be Fendar’s last straw. He snatched the blaster from her, leaving her to trail after him in a stream of protests.
Cordelia sighed, massaging the throbbing headache at her temples.