Page 28 of His Darkest Obsession
“And there’s no way out of this?”
Her eyebrows shoot up and she studies me like I'm some rare specimen in a museum display case.
"What could you possibly want to go back to that he cannot give you here?”
Everything! I want to shout at her.
My sister needs me, and she’s already lost me once! I can’t do that to her again. Not when I’m the only family she has left in the world.
But Svetlana’s gaze tells me that no amount of desperate pleading will ever get either her or Anatoly to change theirminds. And even if she might understand my troubles, or even pretends to, her loyalty is ultimately to Anatoly.
Not to me.
She says I have to be a queen? Fine, I’ll show her what being a queen is like.
So, I force myself to swallow the words that I want to say and instead, square my shoulders to look her in her eyes, and rearrange my face to match the cold expression Anatoly’s when he told me that I’m here to marry him.
“I’m the one asking questions here, not you.”
"So you are." Svetlana tilts her head like she can see right through my act. "There is one way out of a bratva marriage. But trust me.” Her eyes darken. “You don't want that way."
My heart squeezes at her cold words as she approaches, and I grip the bookend like it’s a lifeline.
"The thing about running,Indigo Malcolmovna, is that it only works if you have somewhere to go. And if you’ve been brought here, then that means there's already nowhere left to run."
She gestures around the room. "It's not so bad being Tolya’s wife. You'll have protection. Money. Power. The ability to make your problems disappear if you so desire. People would kill, and many have, to be in your position of marrying a pakhan."
“But not love,” I point out. “He told me he didn’t need me for my love. Don’t you need love to get married?”
“In your world, perhaps,” Svetlana says matter-of-factly. “But in ours, love is the last thing to be considered, if it’s ever considered, in a marriage.”
“That sounds like an awful world.”
“And perhaps it is, but this is a world that you are now a part of. And if you want to survive in this world, I suggest that you forget everything about the world that you once knew.”
But I can’t just do that. I can’t forget about my sister. I can’t forget about who and what I used to be before I met Anatoly. Broken and defeated, yes, but I was stillme.And now, I’m expected to throw all of that away?
I can’t do that.
“I didn’t ask for this.” I turn away from her and let the bookend fall to the floor in a heavythud. “I didn’t want this. And I wish this never happened to me.”
“Look at me, Indigo Malcolmovna.”
I do, and see an intensity in her blue eyes that reminds me so much of Anatoly.
“The past is carved in stone. It cannot be changed, only worn away. And even then, the worn marks will remind you of what happened. When you wish that the past never happened, you breathe power into it. Only by accepting that it has happened and resolving to never let it drag you back down into its depth, will youevertriumph over it.”
My breath turns shallow as I listen, and I think about the scars crisscrossing along the insides of my thighs.
I’m all too familiar with how the past can leave its marks on you.
Svetlana leans in closer and her voice sharpens.
“There are many things that people don’t want in this cruel thing we call life. Awful things. Yet they happen every single day. Youare allowed to admit that you did not want them. You are even allowed to admit that you were hurt by them. But you areneverallowed to wish that they didn’t happen.”
She speaks with such candor and ferocity that I can feel the curiosity seeping into my bones at what kind of pastshemight’ve endured.
Is she anything like me?
