Page 150 of His Darkest Obsession
I rub my hands over my face, ignoring the sting of my split knuckles. It's nothing compared to the gaping hole she tore in my heart.
I hate you!
But she must've wanted Bennet dead. She had to have wanted him dead! How can she not? After everything he did to her? To her family?
I could fucking feel it in the way she fucked me. And didn't she agree to this when I first saw her scars and told her I would give her the hands of the man who left them on her?
But still…
I can't shake this feeling. The desperation in her eyes as she fucked me—both against the wall and on the floor—the way she kept saying "I hate you" even as she pulled me closer...
Something's wrong. And it's not just Bennet's death that's caused this.
I need to fucking talk to her.
I get up slowly, and stare at the closed bathroom door, only to hear the lock click shut. But I walk towards it all the same.
When I reach it, I hear the shower come on. Then, I hear something else. The unmistakable sound of sobbing. It's muffled and broken, like she's trying to do her best to keep me from hearing it.
I lean my head against the door and feel my heart breaking as I listen to Indigo cry.
I fucking did this to her. I fucking hurt her. After everything I said and promised, I fucking did it anyways.
She's right. I'm no better than Bennet.
I'm just like that monster.
My eyes cast down and I see the blood still smeared across my knuckles, my palm, and my wrist. And that's when it hits me...
I put that same blood on her.
On her skin.
In her hair.
On her face.
Self-hatred burns stronger now, and the anger that had taken hold of me earlier falls away completely.
I want to open the door and apologize to her, but she doesn't want to see me right now. Otherwise, she wouldn't have locked it.
But I want to. Ihaveto.
I feel like I'm about to lose her for good. She's slipping away from me with every sob that escapes her lips. And I don't want to lose her.
Slowly, I reach up and knock on the door. There's no response other than the continuous sound of the shower and her crying.
I bow my head and slump down, my forehead still pressed to the front of the door. My heart feels like it's being crushed under an unbearable weight. I clench my jaw to keep my voice as even as I can, all while my heart continues to shatter.
"Indigo," I call out softly, not knowing if she can even hear me. "I'm sorry."
47
INDIGO
I standin front of the sink as the shower runs behind me and steam starts to fog the edges of the mirror.
I look like a fucking mess. Blood is smeared on my thigh, on my hands, and in my hair. My body is sore. My lips are swollen from his bruising kisses. My eyes are red-rimmed from crying.
