Page 146 of His Darkest Obsession
Hedidbring me closure in knowing that Grant Bennet will never hurt anyone else again. Thereisjustice in the brutal way he died.
But I can't let those words out. Because if I do, then the part of me that I've always thought of as good will die.
God help me, Anatoly is a monster.
But he'smymonster. The one who did what no one else can do.
And I fucking love him for it.
The realization crashes through me like a tidal wave. I close my eyes, unable to look at him as tears slide down my cheeks.
"If you really think I didn't do this for you." His voice drops to a whisper. "Then say it. But you wanted this, didn't you?"
My body finally betrays me.
And I nod.
He leans in even closer until his lips are close enough to kiss away my tears. "I thought so," he murmurs against my skin.
"I hate you," I whisper, the words barely audible.
"No you don't."
And he's right. I don't. But admitting that means committing fully to him, and becoming completely his. It means losing myself in whatever this dangerous thing between us is.
Forever.
So I lie to him again, my voice stronger this time: "I hate you."
Anatoly's bloody hand gently takes mine, his fingers intertwining with my own. The crimson stains of Bennet's blood transfer onto my skin and marks me as his accomplice.
"You don't hate me," he says, his voice soft yet certain.
Tears continue to stream down my face, hot and relentless. I know he's right. God, I know he's right.
But I can't stop lying as I repeat those words. "I hate you."
I say it again, and again, and again until my voice breaks with each repetition.
But I don’t stop. I keep repeating it like a curse and a prayer at the same time. As if saying it enough times will somehow make it true.
As if I can force my heart to feel what my mind tells me is the right thing someone like me is supposed to do.
But what even is right in this world anymore?
Despite my words, I press closer to him, seeking his warmth and his strength. The heat radiating off his body calls to something primal inside me. Something I've tried to bury but can't.
I'm just as fucked-up as he is. And I don’t want to change a fucking thing about it.
Without warning, Anatoly crushes his mouth against mine in a dark and hungry kiss. I rise eagerly to meet it and part my lips for him to let his tongue sweep into my mouth.
I want to open myself up to him completely. To let him claim me in every way a man can claim a woman.
I want to surrender everything to him.
I want him and only him.
He presses even closer, his body hard against mine, and my heart races. Oh God, I missed this. Missed him. My free handmoves forward, tugging impatiently at his pants, desperate to free him.
