Page 48 of Free to Judge
A raw chuckle escapes me as I imagine his dressing down. Likely he’d threaten to pull me from the op. But maybe he’d listen about why I’d insist on staying. This isn’t solely about taking down the people who hurt Tanya—though it started that way. It’s now about bringing down two seemingly untouchable empires.
The Byrnes—they’re not just legends. They’re fact. People think the Irish Mafia is some half-forgotten legend. A few whiskey-drinking men running card games out of a snug, while the world’s moving past them.
They’re wrong.
The Irish haven’t just survived—they adapted.
They fold themselves into corporations, into politics, into unions and real estate. They take over trucking routes and railroads. In some places, you can’t tell where a town ends and they begin. It’s no longer about bar brawls and glasses shattering. No, they wear suits and shake hands in boardrooms.
But I’ve learned not to fool myself. The rules are still the same. Their credo is still the same—loyalty or blood.
Still, while I’m undercover, I’m the guy they call when they want it to look legal. When they want it invisible. When they want to flaunt their redemption. Gloat they’re legitimate even as they wag their fingers and bare their necks encased in blood diamonds. Because nothing sells the appearance of acceptance more than money.
Even if that money was made selling other humans.
How is it Kalie seeks to understand my motivation the way no one else has? How could she take in the pain as if it was her own? It was obvious in the way her countenance softened. Then there was the empathy in her tone.
How is it someone who should have been damning me as being their greatest enemy turned into something I never thought to contemplate having again in my life? As a friend? As more? Sure, Jon’s been by my side at Hudson. But tonight, Kalie touched a part of me I wasn’t sure existed any longer.
My heart.
When she asked about Tanya and insisted I talk about who she was, she broke down the barricades I wasn’t even aware were still up. I thought the man who had those emotions died the same day his partner’s head was delivered to the field office.
Maybe he did. Maybe I hoped he had. If I didn’t let anyone get too close then I wouldn’t be able to be hurt again.
Then, Kalie surprised me by landing punches that never should have happened—the first to my face, the second to my heart.That hasn’t happened in years. She didn’t judge, nor did she condemn my decision to avenge Tanya.
Instead, she just wrapped her arms around me and held on.
The feel of my lips curving makes my muscles in my cheeks ache. But as fast as it occurs, it fades as a chill surges through me. What if she ends up being the next casualty, like Tanya? Her father is pulling every string, baiting every trap, desperate to ward off another impending tragedy.
The Byrnes want Kalie’s blood for being such an upstart to insult their family. Hell, I’m surprised they didn’t put an outright hit on her, considering they believe I’m their life raft trying to keep afloat their precious pipeline to traffic women and children when, in reality, I’m doing everything possible to destroy it with my own two hands.
I’m terrified that I’m running out of chances to keep another innocent woman safe.
Fumbling in a drawer, I retrieve an old photo of Tanya, me, and her family, its edges worn. Even now, it’s hard to look at. To know my actions—even though they were unintentional—led to her demise.
Had I known, I’d have dragged her off that damn op instead of basking in the moment and reporting that we were ready to wrap things up with a slam dunk believing in the power of our chain of command.
Our division.
Our organization.
That night, my life shattered.
I should have known better. By the time I was back from making the call, Tanya wasn’t responding. There was no way to pull up her tracker. Weeks later, the dress it was sewn into would be found in a four-alarm fire—a haunting reminder of the brutal way she had been severed from it.
In the wake of her death, vengeance became my sole companion. I became consumed with taking down the Byrne family, burning with a resolve that I had never known.
I began laying the groundwork for my cover with the Byrnes, faking fury over Tanya’s betrayal with certain people—the only individuals I knew I spoke with at the FBI.
When Ben heard about it, he almost killed me himself—his emotions were completely out of control. I know a part of my soul died inside as he barred me from his home, from seeing his kids. Those truths were damn real and helped my backstory.
But then, more stories arose from a corner I never imagined they’d come from—my fellow officers and Internal Affairs. With some nudging by Hudson, files went conveniently missing. Years of dedicated service forgotten. And then permanently forgotten after the Hudson team ensured all files were truly removed. Instead, drawing a picture of me as someone ready for a sighted scope, they put a different kind of target on my back—a man ready to be recruited.
I was willing, if not resentful.
My law degree came in handy as I quickly worked my way through the grunt work piled on me by the family. Within the organization, I found errors made by other firms—errors I set them up for. I solidified my position as I uncovered mistakes,and they began to trust me when I presented them with paperwork for additional security protocols.
