Page 105 of Free to Judge
Peter jokes, “I’m going to have to fend off the Secretaries of Defense and State, aren’t I?”
I roll my eyes even as Aunt Em chortles. Just as I’m about to retort, my phone pings again.Him.
Peter’s jaw tightens. “Do you want me to…?”
I shake my head. Staring at the dress, it’s impossible for me now to not acknowledge the last criteria I asked Aunt Em to add—an amaryllis. It’s in the tulle layers of the skirt, so carefully disguised that few would know it’s there. But the few who do are the people closest to my heart, those who are bleeding right alongside me right now as I mentally shore myself up for tonight’s events.
Declan:
You’ll be the only woman in the room tonight.
I’ll try not to whisk you away, but no promises.
You’re mine.
If that was truly the case.My eyes sought out the last element I asked Aunt Em to add to the dress knowing I was feeling it for Declan.
Love.
Now seeing our family’s symbol on the dress when my heart is cracked wide open hurts. I thought we were growing something together despite the agony of what he’d endured. My feelinggrew, consuming me over the course of the month we were together.
Then he threw me away.
I couldn’t, wouldn’t do that to Aunt Em’s exquisite creation. After all, love, even rejected, is a gift. My soul might feel like the world is ending, but my head knows it will persevere.
Eventually.
Even if tonight it might be damned knowing he’s so close in a room filled with almost a thousand people.
CHAPTER FIFTY
As Aunt Emhelps me dress, I recall the nights Declan and I spent getting to know one another.
We went from strangers to enemies to friends to…more.
My heart thuds in my chest so hard I’m certain it must be visible in the plunging V of the dress I’m in. Over the last two weeks, I’ve been trying to close the gap Declan punched in my chestfirst by pushing me away after we made love, then by being photographed with that stripper.
“Kalie,” Aunt Em reprimands me. I glance at her reflection in the mirror. “Peter and your mother are already downstairs. Are you ready? You’re running late.”
“Sorry, Aunt Em.” I smooth the fine material of my dress down and turn from the mirror to face her.
Something of my emotions must show on my face because hers softens. “The only thing you should be ‘sorry’ for is not letting us in when we knew you needed us. You were out of touch for two weeks too long, sweetheart.”
She draws me into a hug. When she pulls away, her hands fall to my shoulders. “Don’t make that mistake again, Kalie. Not with Declan. Not with anyone.”
Shaking my head, I murmur, “I was willing to risk everything to stand up for him, be with him.”
“And a photo changed that?” she questions.
“What changed was the fact he walked out on me. He didn’t protect us by telling me something like that could be a possibility.”
“Kalie, do you love him?”
“It isn’t that I love him, Aunt Em. It’s that I don’t know how to stop.” I make my way to the door, determined to get through tonight.
After that, I don’t know what comes next.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
