Page 44 of Free to Judge
“What does that mean, exactly?”
I don’t explain Jon will likely badger Mike for the new tech to use at Hudson before it goes to the DoD to make Hunt Industries more money than it could possibly need. “It’s being handled.”
He gives me a look riddled with doubt before he asks, “Now what?”
I cross my arms akimbo. “Now, be honest with me. Can you do that?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Declan nods.No protest, no arguments. Just a heavy weight he wears on a chain around his neck. “There’s no point in lying to you. You’re too smart.” Then his lips quirk into a wry smile. “Then again, you’d probably search the web and find the right answers anyway.”
“Not anymore. Not that I know what’s truly at stake.”
His eyes widen imperceptibly when he realizes what I’m saying. Still, that doesn’t alleviate the danger emanating off of him. As alluring as it is, it’s the kind of dangerous that could place my loved ones at risk. I jerk my chin toward the other end of my couch before ordering, “What do you want me to know that my family isn’t telling me?”
When he really lets me see the unguarded version of himself, the wounds I spy almost bring me to tears. The pain Declan’s weighed down with causes a ripple to travel across my heart and tears to prick my eyes. I reach out and brush my hand over his arm to offer some relief to his pain. “Oh, Declan.”
“Tanya was my partner. For this case, they only needed a woman to go in. I was to act as her handler.” His eyes fly up to mine to see if I understand.
“Were they trying to trap the Byrnes using a honeypot?”
He nods. “It wasn’t ideal. Tanya is—was—happily married. But the man she was targeting—Cian Byrne—was impotent. Had peripheral artery disease.” He scrubs his hands over his face. “Hell, even tiny blue pills couldn’t help him get it up. She wasn’t worried about…that.”
I didn’t respond. Just waited for him to speak his truth. At this point, it was more about him unburdening himself than anything.
“She overplayed her hand with the old man. I found out through back channels there were some of the family who were suspicious and warned her about it at our last meet up.” His eyes drift shut in memory. “God, that place was a dump. It was a run-down coffee shop in South Boston. Hell, we came up with a fucking backstory that should have stuck—telling old man Byrneher brother was having emergency surgery. That’s all we needed—a reason to deviate from her schedule.”
“But she didn’t want to,” I probe gently.
“So damn stubborn.” He sniffles, swiping tears from his cheeks. “Said she was on the cusp of the big payout. Three more days. Pleaded with me to wait.”
“But something went wrong.”
“Exactly.” He exhales. “Despite their criminal ties, the Byrnes are considered old money. Old power. Not the good kind. They’re the kind of people who never appear in headlines because the ink printing is done so with blood.”
My pulse quickens. Yes, I’d grown up with substantial influence and enormous secrets, but Declan’s secrets are more painful. And he hasn’t got to the worst part of his story.
“They own people all over the damn state—police, politicians, judges. While waiting for the high sign from Tanya, I gave an update to my agent-in-charge.”
A sick feeling starts to churn the wine in my stomach. He continues, voice low. “The next thing I know, I’m being called back to the station by the director…something went wrong. Everything unraveled. People were frantic. Tanya couldn’t be found. Gone. Like she’d never existed.”
“Kidnapping?” I ask gently.
Declan’s eyes flickered. “Yes,” he said. “Then after a few days, Tanya’s head was sent to us. It was a warning—a huge one.” His voice chokes up. He slugs back a drink of wine before managing to continue. “I was the one to go notify her husband. He smiled when he opened the door to me. Led me to the living room. Theirwedding photo was above the mantel. His screams brought the kids into the room…” He sniffs. “I can still see their faces in my sleep.”
I don’t have words. Instead, I just offer him the solace of silence so he can regroup. “Now, it’s all jumbled in my nightmares. She’s headless trying to get back to a blood-soaked wedding dress. Instead of joy, it’s a fucking massacre. It’s all my fault, Kalie. It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t checked in, if?—”
“Declan, stop it.”
He runs his hand beneath his eyes to mop up the tears. I reach over for the tissues and offer them to him. He takes one, murmuring his thanks. I probe, “Have you spoken to anyone else about this?”
He shakes his head. “I went right from the bureau to Hudson. I dove right into finding Tanya’s killers. I have to do whatever it takes to bring them to justice. I have to for Tanya, for her husband Ben, for her kids.”
“And for yourself.”
“I don’t deserve forgiveness.” His laugh is bitter. “That much was made evident to me by the way I was persecuted by everyone at my job, investigations into Tanya’s death, fingers being pointed.”
“Let me ask you a question,” I begin.
