Page 87 of Perfect Order
She laughs, and the openness of the sound does more to heal the wounds we've each sustained than any amount of time. Tucking her close, I confess, “I locked everything that had to do with Gene out of my life—celebrations, laughter. Well, everything except my family, Brit, and Maddie.”
“Who are they?” Her fingers have resumed their comforting glide over my skin.
“Gene’s wife and daughter. Even at the end, as he was trying to hand off the drive, he claimed…” My voice catches.
She nods. And I realize I don’t need to tell her the specifics. AsQ?za,she would have had access to the mission files. But her next words shock me. “That mission almost broke me.”
“What do you mean?” I clip out.
Her hand stops moving. “I was twenty-two, Kane. It was next to impossible for me to absorb what I had just unearthed. I had no idea until after that it was my actions that caused the lives of our soldiers, caused another to lose his career. I couldn’t function. What the hell was I doing? My mission was to stop the bad guys, not ruin the good ones. There was no order to this. I began to unravel and…”
“Hold on. None of what happened in Azerbaijan was your fault, Leanne. The fault belongs to Gene. The man who was a traitor to our country—for what? Money. Someone got to him.” And as I’m saying the words to convince her, they unlock something that’s been burning inside of me for years.
The truth.
“Christ. They got to him. What the hell did they have on him? Do you know?” I surge up to inspect her face.
She opens her mouth and swiftly shuts it. “Does it matter now?”
I drop back and drape my arm back over my eyes, tucking her back against my body. “No. The only thing that I regret is there was no recording of what transpired in that field.”
I feel her frown against my skin. “There wasn’t? Don’t you wear a recording device when you’re on an op in the event your live transmission doesn’t go through?”
God, there are times when I love her brain. “Which was pointed out during a subcommittee hearing. Apparently Gene’s was turned off, and mine was damaged—though I have no idea how. That plus my friendship with Gene played a huge part in the manner with which I was initially questioned by the subcommittee.”
Leanne growls. “That’s bullshit. You were a decorated soldier with no history of—”
“Yeah. That’s probably why I was offered a desk job instead of a court-martial.”
Her harrumph tells me exactly what she feels about that. Then her wicked eyes raise to mine. “I could always…”
“No.”
“Come on. You’ve never played on the edge. You never know what files will turn up suddenly, Kane.”
“Or manufactured,” I laugh. “I know how you agency types work.”
“Well, that too. But sometimes, it’s for the greater good.”
“This isn’t the greater good, Leanne. Things worked out the way they were supposed to.”
Her chin lifts, but she doesn’t argue the point. Instead, she asks me, “Will you tell me about Brit and Maddie?”
I tuck her back into place where I want her before I explain about Gene’s high school sweetheart and the baby they had. Reaching over to the bedside, I pull up the photo she sent the night Kylie died. I’m absorbed as Leanne enlarges it and smiles at the innocence of the little girl. “She’s worth fighting the world for.” Just as I’m about to agree, she hands the phone back to me. “Not betraying it.”
I roll away to slide the phone to the end table. When I roll back, the fierceness in her eyes snags the last piece of my heart. Everything these last few weeks I’ve been feeling about this woman—the intense attraction, the protectiveness, the admiration—all coalesce.
And I can’t not reach for her.
She moves into my arms easily. When she does, I tighten them around her before murmuring into her hair, “I never could have imagined this.”
“What?” Her head tips back so I can fall into the never-ending depths of her midnight eyes. She’s holding nothing back: neither secrets nor her feelings. It’s all there lying as open on her face as her body was before.
Tenderly, I twist a lock of her fair hair around my fingers and give it a tug before teasing, “Falling for a woman I’ve been dating online. I mean, we all know the hazards of that, Crash. She could have been a complete psycho when I met her in person. I’m so glad you turned out not to be completely batshit crazy.”
Leanne tosses her head back against my arm as she screeches with laughter.
My lips curve indulgently as she enjoys this carefree moment, something she hasn’t had since Kylie was murdered. Wanting to be a part of it, to feel the laughter as it vibrates through her, I roll her to her back. Pressing my lips against hers lightly, I whisper, “I’ve think I started to fall the night you trusted me with your blood, Leanne.”
