Page 18 of Perfect Order
You know why,she chides me.
The answer skates along my spine. “Because I know you’d do it for me.”
Not without feeling like you are. Now tell me you love me.
“I love you, Lee. Forever.” I sob for long moments, holding her hand against my face before managing to stagger to my feet. Wrenching open the door, I call out to the ER doctor who contacted me a few short hours ago. “Dr. Ross?”
He’s at my side in seconds. “I’m truly sorry, Ms. Miles. We did everything we could.” His face is a mask of devastation. I barely manage a small nod. He hesitates. “Do you want to be here for this?”
“I’m not leaving my Lee.”
He steps away and informs the doctor who informed me when I first arrived he was the pulmonologist on Kylie’s case. Dr. Ross asks, “Do you want to know what happened to her now or…”
“Now,” I croak out.
“She was strangled until she lost consciousness and then was beaten. Her heart stopped once, but we were able to resuscitate her. Then, she stopped breathing. An MRI confirmed internal bleeding, hence the respirator.”
Oh, God. My Lee. Who did this to you?But what comes out of my mouth is a strangled sound of agony.
He reaches over and pats my shoulder. “The police…” But before he can say any more, the room is filled with far too many people who are changing the noise from serene beeps to noisy chatter. It’s discordant to my ears because I can’t hear her sweet voice over theirs.
Finally, Dr. Ross moves us to the end of the bed, closest to her head. Everyone else has stationed themselves at predetermined stations, ready to take action. “Whenever you’re ready, Ms. Miles,” he gently encourages me.
I want to tell him to go fuck himself. They have no concept of what it’s like to be the person to extinguish the life of the person who you held wrapped in their arms before you could breathe your first breath on your own. And now, to be the one to take away her last one? To be responsible because of a stupid piece of paper we drew up years ago, assuming we’d never need it? Because I was late getting here, even though something compelled me after receiving a card to get here faster, to come see my Lee. She needed me, and I let her down.
We’re connected by something far greater than sisterhood. We’re twins. We share everything, from taste in music to sense of humor. Even our damn voice is identical, a curse or a gift from sharing strep throat back and forth too many years while sharing a room throughout our years of living together at home. And I don’t know how I’ll ever listen to myself speak another word. Not without knowing my Lee was being brutally attacked, out there being hurt somewhere I couldn’t help her.
I lean down and press my lips to her forehead one last time. “There will never be a day I don’t love you.”And I swear, I will find out who did this to you, Lee. Even if it takes the rest of my life.My heart fills with a deep warmth. It’s her. I know it.
I give the order, and the sound that emits from me when my sister's heart stops beating is terrible. It’s a keening desperation I hope the gods take as the warning it is. Because everyone had better get out of my way.
Screw the perfect order I’ve spent the last few years trying to live my life by. War was just declared on whoever did this to me, my family.They will pay. I swear it on our soul.
“Time of death, 20:16,” Dr. Ross announces quietly before turning to me and offering a simple “I’m so sorry for your loss, Ms. Miles.”
I nod, unable to speak, not even if they forced me to.
“We can give you just a few moments,” he begins, but I interrupt.
“She’s gone. Nothing is going to bring her back.”
His kind eyes harness mine. “No, Kylie, they won’t.”
I shiver when my sister’s name slides from his lips, but I don’t correct him. After all, nothing will change the fact I’ll see her face in the mirror for the rest of my life. But when whoever crossed this line and stole my sister from me, they didn’t realize death won’t break a bond science can’t explain, one that formulates when two bodies wrap around one another for almost ten months in a confined space, sharing the same food, the same nutrients passed through love by their mother.
Not just family, not just sisters, but twins.
Something stirs on the fringes of my mind, an ill-formed idea. Something Kylie absolutely would have approved of if I wasn’t desperately clutching her dead hand.
“I have so many people to notify about my sister’s death. I don’t know where to start.”
Guiding me from the chaos, Dr. Ross leads me into a private room. “Your parents?”
I can’t fathom what my mother’s reaction is going to be. What sweet hell is she going to endure when I call to tell her Kylie’s gone? She won’t make the same mistake the doctor did as soon as she hears my voice.
I begin to sob quietly. “What am I supposed to do?”
He guides me into a chair and offers me a box of tissues. I weep, “I don’t know how I’m going to get through this.”
