Page 111 of Perfect Order
Paige hums in agreement. I gape at them both. “What is wrong with you two?”
“What’s wrong with you?” he counters. While I’m sputtering in an effort to string words together, Beckett calmly explains, “We weren’t the ones who had an issue with the past coming to light, Lee, just with the way it did. We always suspected it would someday. Truth be told, there’s something a little more sensitive we’re trying to keep a lid on for a while.”
My eyes immediately drop to Paige’s waistline, and Beckett roars. “Leanne? You’ve got a lot of your sister's sass in you.”
At his words, I turn away to face her gravestone before he can see the hurt his words cause. “People have accused me of abandoning her.”
“That’s a damn lie.” This beautiful man I inadvertently hurt in my search comes immediately to my defense.
“Maybe I did. Maybe I lost sight of finding the answers,” I whisper harshly.
“Because you fell in love? Cut yourself some slack. That’s honoring her byliving. She would be devastated if you didn’t. Remember? I knew her,” Beckett states calmly.
His words cause a wrecking ball to slam into my heart. I can barely manage to nod before a shadow drifts in front of me. My head whips up, and the compassion in Paige’s green eyes causes my composure to wither.
But it’s the way she opens her arms to me that causes the last of my defenses to completely shatter. I manage to choke out, “I’m so sorry. I never thought they would target me through people I cared about. It turned into such a huge disaster. I swear, I never meant for you both to be hurt, despite what others might think.”
I dive forward as her arms wrap around me—the first embrace I’ve felt of its kind since before Kylie died. And my body shakes under the force of my tears. Over and over, I keep whispering, “I’m so sorry.”
Paige doesn’t say a word. She just smooths her hand up and down over my back, murmuring encouraging sounds against the top of my hair. Beckett approaches, declaring, “There’s nothing to apologize for, Leanne. You loved your sister.”
Which only causes me to choke out, “I did. I do. I love her so much.”
I feel myself being passed from Paige’s soothing arms to Beckett’s strong ones. He slowly rocks me back and forth. “I should have known something was up. Kylie would never have gone to that party. She called Snowy-T a royal piece of shit who deserved to be run over by a New York City bus.”
A watery giggle escapes. “That’s what she wrote in her journal as well.”
“Then why did you go? I mean really, kid, pajamas are not my best look.”
Paige snorts out her disagreement. “My love, I get caught by Sexy&Social wearing pj’s to pick up coffee and it’s a scandal. You wear them and everyone races to look it up online.”
My hand slaps over my mouth to hold back the laugh that wants to escape at the disgruntled look Beckett delivers to his fiancée. He ignores her before addressing me, “Forget about what I was wearing. Why go?”
I give an uncomfortable shrug. “I knew it wasn’t one of her friends who had hurt her, so it had to be one of her enemies.”Or one of mine. I shake away the chill that courses through me and explain, “For me to find whomever killed Kylie, I had to submerge myself in her world—even the awful parts of it.” I shudder when I recall the nauseated feeling the next day.
Beckett tips my chin up before he demands, “No more, then?”
My body sags in defeat as I reach out and graze the top of Lee’s headstone. “No. There’s nothing left of Kylie’s life to dig up.”
His eyes narrow. “The StellaNova recant? That was you?”
My shoulders square, and I lift my chin. “They deserved to pay.” His lips curve into a smile that I’m sure reflects my own—sinfully evil.
Paige draws me away from Beckett. “True. But…”
“Just say what you’re thinking, Paige,” I declare bluntly, bracing myself for her ire.
“You need to speak with someone, release your anger.” Her hand lifts before coasting over my hair. I don’t rear back in resentment of her assessment because I’m absorbing her touch like a sponge.
I open my mouth to deny her claims, but what comes out is “I know. I’d have given Lee the exact same advice.”
“I was concerned you’d feel I was overstepping, even if I am a doctor,” Paige explains.
“Paige, after everything the press has printed about you both to get to me, I think if you want the right to meddle, you pretty much have it.”
She flashes me a quick smile, which fades as her eyes lock on something over my shoulder. I whirl around and find Beckett staring down at Lee’s grave. Paige squeezes my hand. We’re both silent for long moments until his rough voice manages, “She was like a kid sister to me. It’s unbelievable to know she’s gone.”
“She deserved everything, but above all things, she deserved to know who did this to her and why.” I wipe my fingers beneath my eyes. “It’s just been so hard to deal with.”
