Page 74 of Perfect Composition
“Nothing, why?”
“Let’s do something.”
“Like what?”
I haven’t thought much about it. “You choose.”
Much to my surprise, she directs the security team to drop us off in the center of downtown Kensington.
Kensington is an upscale suburb that screams Americana located west of Austin. The town fathers were determined to maintain its quaint charm even throughout the decades, which is why it feels like I’ve stepped back in time with the black-and-white store signs for modern eateries like Subway and Rodeo Ralph’s mixed in with high-end dining and shopping.
Even though I’ve been gone twenty years, it appears some things never change. I stroll with Austyn as the smell of smoked barbecue makes my mouth water. “Despite everything that forced me to leave, this was probably the thing I missed the most,” I confess.
“The monotony?” Her voice is dry.
I bark out a laugh. “No, kid. Of all the things I don’t miss it’s the monotony. Although you should embrace your roots.” Thoughtfully, I raise a tattooed hand to my jaw and say aloud, “There were good things about living here. I was just too mired down to recognize it. Your mama, and hell, I should have come back for the barbecue if nothing else.”
“Barbecue? That’s why you should have come back” She practically trips over her indignation beside me.
“I’m kidding.” I hesitate, wondering how much I should tell her, before realizing she already knows most of it. “I didn’t realize it wasn’t Kensington, per se, that was so bad. It was my personal situation. And maybe if I’d reached out to a teacher, someone, I could have changed it. Changed the past. Back then, my family was shit. And it wasn’t until the end I knew why.”
“I still don’t know why.”
Crap. I would have thought Paige would have shared. “My parents caused an accident. Then they spent the rest of their lives drunk to avoid caring about the repercussions of it.”
“That’s tragic in so many ways,” Austyn murmurs.
You have no idea.“They weren’t like your mama. They weren’t present in my life. They didn’t worry whether or not I was home, so it was easy to slip out of the house. God, I remember on days like Founders’ Day, I’d walk miles to get to town. And then I’d just sit by the band and listen to them play for hours.”
“Does Mama know this?”
I nod brusquely. “I told her when we were…we were. Austyn, I don’t want you to ever believe I didn’t love your mother.”I always will.
She stops in her tracks. “Beckett, get real.”
I’m offended. “Who are you to tell me what I did and didn’t feel?”
“I’m not telling you what you felt; I’m telling you that you still have the same feelings for her now. Gee, am I the only one who realizes the two of you can’t be in the same space without the air sizzling?”
I can’t formulate words. Austyn pats my cheek. “Don’t worry about it. I think it’s because I’m a part of both of you I can read you both so well.”
And there’s that burning sensation pricking the back of my eyes. I slip on a pair of sunglasses. “I need more.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize they’re there.
“What do you mean?” Her head tilts to the side the same way Paige’s does.
Hooking an arm over her shoulder, I guide my daughter to our first stop—to find her mother. “It means I want her to care about the man I am today, Austyn, not the memories we share because we’re both connected to you. Christ, I sound like I’m composing a love song.”
Her peal of laughter draws the attention of several people. A few wave. She waves back. “Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”
My hope soars. “You don’t?”
“Nope.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because, you’re the only man I’ve ever seen drive her absolutely out of her mind.” Just as we reach the line at Nina’s Barbecue, Austyn reasons, “No one else has, and no one ever came close to winning her heart. So it must be the start of something enormous.”
God, I hope so.But I just shake my head at my daughter before informing her, “You’re insane.”
