Page 63 of Perfect Composition
I let him go so he could compose the life he was meant to live. Even if it was meant to be without me.
And for just a moment, I allow myself the luxury of a strong woman’s tears. I figure one day I’ll be able to look back on this moment and equate it to waking from a perfect dream.
Even if that day is on my deathbed.
“Be happy, love. That’s all I ask.”
Hours after Jesse and Ethan have left and Austyn’s stopped badgering me about where her father’s gone, I drag myself to the dining room table again.
Pulling out the photos album from the time Austyn was five, I flip rapidly through it. Carefully, I select a few of my favorite shots and remove them. Tugging the new album closer, I slip in the photos and then tag them in my precise handwriting.
Austyn at her 5th birthday. All she wanted that year was drums, much to my dismay.
Austyn playing the recorder at school.
Austyn on her first pony. She named him Clef—after a treble clef, of course.
After I finish, I carefully add the stickers beneath the correct photos when I hear his deep voice ask, “What are you doing, bird?”
I screech, and the pen I’m holding goes flying. Beckett’s standing in front of me, expression completely neutral. “How the hell did you get in here?”
He holds up Austyn’s key ring. “Did you really think I would just leave?”
I can’t prevent the bitterness from seeping into my voice. “You did the first time.”
He doesn’t bother to hide the wince on his face.
I scrub my hand over my face. “I’m sorry, Beckett. I’m tired, and that wasn’t fair. I understand why you left. I can even say with complete truthfulness I might have made a similar decision under similar circumstances.” I stand and bend down to retrieve my pen.
His smile is crooked. “Are you talking about the first time or after we kissed senseless—something, for the record, I think we should do again?”
I blink at him, unable to believe his audacity. I’m seriously tempted to hurl the pen in his direction. Fortunately, he speaks before my temper gets the better of me. “You’re being generous again, but we both know the truth. I never should have left—then or now.”
I snap back up. “Why are you trying to make this difficult?”
“Why are you trying to make it so easy for me to go?” he counters.
“Because somewhere between hating you and running into you on the street in New York, I was slapped in the face with a dose of reality! That all the cock and bull I’d been fed about you, about myself, was as bad as most of the media reports about you likely are.”
He rubs his thumb across his full lower lip, causing me to catch sight of the rose tattooed on the back of his hand. I jerk my chin up. “That’s an unusual tattoo for a badass rocker.”
He tips his hand slightly. “Do you know I’ve never told anyone why I got that tattoo?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to step on any boundaries.”
He continues as if I haven’t spoken. “That’s because it’s about you, bird. The rose reminded me of your beauty and, of course, Texas. It’s not filled in because it’s meant to represent the unfulfilled promise of love.” His eyes meet mine. “Our love. What I sacrificed for the rest of it to happen. So, no, I’m not going to let you make this easy, Paige. From the moment you told me you were trespassing on your own land because you were a girl, it’s never been easy.”
“Stop. Please stop.” I rub my hand over my forehead.
“I can’t. Deep down I always believed you were too good for me.”
“I think we both know that’s not true. Look at who my father is, what he did to all of us.” I jerk my head to the side.
And the next thing I know, his hand is gently turning my face up toward his. “Did you teach Austyn it mattered who her parents were?”
“Of course not,” I respond indignantly. “I…” My voice dies as I realize I’m caught in my own trap.
“The first time I said I left to protect you, I was wrong. This time you’re trying to protect me. And you would have been just as wrong. Why don’t we take time to learn who we are as adults before we ruin something that could be the most beautiful thing either of us has ever created?”
