Page 62 of Perfect Composition
My stomach roils at both the trite pickup line and the tiny seed of hope that gets flamed. I hate myself for feeling anything, so my voice is guttural when I reply, “Please don’t. I have enough on my plate without looking back.”
Beckett winces but doesn’t say anything.
Damn my soft heart. I rush to add, “It’s just hard. I loved you so much.”
“And I loved you. God, a part of me always will.”
“Same.” Somehow, I have to find the strength inside me to cut these bonds between us—except for those he now has between him and Austyn. Whatever little nugget of guilt he has about me needs to be dissolved so he can be free to live the life he was meant to lead. And inspiration strikes. “Say goodbye, Beckett.”
“What?” he bursts out loudly.
I wish I could hold my hand to my chest to stem the bleeding. Instead, I whisper, “The reality is we’re not the same people we were. Maybe this was always the way it was going to be.”
“You can’t…”
“Give me the kiss you should have given me twenty years ago. Then leave. Go. I’ll send Austyn back to New York in a few days.”
“You’re trying to get rid of me?” he confirms incredulously.
“You clawed and dreamed your way away from here. Maybe if…” Then I regain my wits and start to back away. “Never mind. What a terrible idea. Just put it down to my being…”
Before I can get another word out, he hauls my body back against his. His tattooed hand surges into my hair, tilting my head just the way he used to when we’d be in a field of trampled-down, sun-warmed grass. His other arm bands tightly around my waist. But just like the first time he ever kissed me, I’m lost in the ferocity of his eyes.
It wasn’t the first time our lips met that I understood why the blue is the hottest part of the flame.
Without breaking my gaze, Beckett dips his head and nips at my lower lip, causing me to gasp. Instead of immediately plundering inside like every other man whose lips have met mine, he takes his time, sweeping his tongue across my lower lip, drawing it in between his lips. Savoring the taste, savoring me.
Just like he always did right before he made me forget the universe existed.
Tilting his head, he fits his mouth to mine and deepens our connection. Our tongues duel back and forth, brushing up against each other, twining together.
If it’s possible for a kiss to say more than words, ours would declare all the apologies, forgiveness, and wishes we would hope for the other. Tears mist in my eyes at the gentle beauty of the moan that escapes his lips.
My fingers score up his pecs as they make their way to his neck, his hair. My body melts into his to accept him—any part of him—against me. The beauty of this offering makes me long for things I can’t want any longer and remember the perfection of the past with searing clarity. I can’t prevent the shiver that racks my body. It’s always been more than desire with this man; it was an all-consuming love.
And I love him enough to let him go back to his life, not be tied to the town he fought to escape.
Eventually, he brings me back down. I wrap my arms around myself to protect what’s left of my shredded emotions. Turning away, I murmur, “I should have known better than to have done that.”
“It wasn’t a mistake, Paige,” he replies hoarsely.
“Chalk it up to a naive heart, Beckett. I’d just appreciate if you wouldn’t say anything to anyone.” I twist my head around. “Even in song.”
Indignant, he starts, “I would never…”
“‘Guess Now I Know Better’?” I quote one of his song titles.
He flushes.
“‘Live the Dream’?” I name another which is all about how stifling living in a small town is.
“That was about this place, not you,” he replies hotly.
That’s when I remind him. “Aren’t you the one who said to me within minutes of meeting me I was the ruler of all I surveyed.” I spin in a small circle. “You escaped, Beckett. Don’t let yourself get trapped again.”
He opens his mouth and shuts it without saying a word. Then he storms off the lanai, slamming the door behind him. A few moments later, I hear the front door slam as well.
And that’s when I sit down in the chair sightlessly, knowing I did the right thing.
