Page 51 of Perfect Composition
David coughs. The expletives stop tumbling from my lips. It’s all I can do to force myself to nod as a knot the size of a cantaloupe swells in my throat.
“I figured if Gramps was bein’ nickel-and-dimed by your folks because they knew, then you probably knew. My one true regret in finding out about all of this is thinking you just didn’t give a shit about me or my mother the night she told me who you were when she’s given up her whole existence to make sure I could be me.” Her expression becomes so protective, so fierce, I’m almost thrown back from the sheer force of it.
And the memories.
Because it’s almost a replica of Paige’s as she whispered to me the last night we were together before my parents beat the crap out of me. The night before we were both going to run away.“I’m not afraid of hard work, Beau. I’ll work and go to school.”
“I don’t want you to support both of us, bird. I can write anywhere.”
She snuggles against me as our still-warm bodies lie entwined against one another. “We’ll figure it out. As long as we’re together, we can do anything. Be anything. Just as long as I have you.”
I raise a trembling hand to my mouth. I feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach as the realization sets in.
Paige was someone. She did do what she had to do. Because she had a piece of me with her.
Christ.
I tune back into the conversation to hear Carys placate Austyn. “I don’t think he feels that way.”
Austyn says to Carys hotly, “I won’t sit here and listen to Sexy&Social’s favorite darling malign my mother. It’s bullshit. Yousawher reaction. She wouldn’t even let me see her break down like that.”
Paige broke down?Then I recall the tears on her face when I confronted her on the street and groan. “Oh, shit.”
Austyn surges to her feet and stalks around the table. “What did you do?” she demands.
“I ran into Paige downstairs,” I confess.
David bangs his head against the door. “As if this couldn’t get worse.”
Carys bares her teeth at me. “And you said?”
“I demanded the truth.” Then I jump back a foot because the two women in the room hiss at me so loudly, I’m afraid they’re about to unsheathe their claws next. “She was already upset!” I shout over their belligerent yelling.
“I don’t have to guess if you made things worse,” Carys demands.
“All I did was…” But I feel the blood leech from my face when I recall chasing Paige down the street and what I revealed about Jesse. Subdued, I acknowledge, “Yes. I made things worse.”
Austyn lets out an impressive-sounding shriek. I can’t help but note, “You even screech on pitch.”
“Give me a pen, a folder. Something. I need to kill him.” She turns and reaches for a stack of files Angie likely put together with military precision when Carys wraps her up in her arms.
And my daughter starts to cry.
An ache so enormous, it makes those first few nights I spent without Paige when I left Kensington pale by comparison, opens inside of me. “No, please. Stop. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
I feel the warmth of David’s hand come down on my shoulder in encouragement. I fumble out, “I had no idea until I heard you play that night at Redemption.”
“You’re full of it,” Austyn manages.
“It was like hearing your mother speak French all over again. Did she tell you she used to try to help tutor me?”
“She did?”
“When you sang, I felt chills down my spine. Your mother’s voice was surrounding me; it was like a dream. Then, I thought I was having delusions when I saw her racing down the stairs at the club.” I swallow hard.
“The dance,” Austyn whispers. She wraps her arms around herself.
“I was going to talk with her. And then I saw you, Austyn.” I try to piece together the emotions I felt in that moment.
