Page 79 of Perfect Assumption
All these years I couldn’t ever contemplate intimacy, yet here I am trapped in a house by at least a foot of snow with no power, cozied up in front of a blazing fire with a man who makes every part of me tingle. Flower’s as close as she can be near the fire Ward just fed. And I don’t feel fear. “Or maybe that’s the Baileys hot chocolate warming me up?” I say aloud.
“What is?” Ward asks.
It hasn’t been long since we stopped running around. I was shocked to find out Ward Burke was willing but excited to eat a hot dog roasted over an open fire. “Reminds me of the cookouts from when I was a kid. We used to roast them on a grill,” he told me enthusiastically.
We nabbed all the cushions and plopped them on the floor directly in front of the stone fireplace like a massive futon. With our backs propped up, we’re reclined against the hearth. This way, we’re able to gaze out the window at the snow’s now gentle fall. But at his words, I push to my feet and wander to stare out to the darkness lit only by the dim light powered by my solar yard lights.
It’s time.
I face Ward. I can’t have my back to him. Not now, maybe not ever, but certainly not for this. “The entire course of my life changed when I agreed to go to an upperclassmen party with Sula.”
Ward doesn’t say a word, but his body becomes more alert. He sits up from his relaxed position, placing his drink aside, waiting for me to continue.
“I was drinking a beer. It was stupid—so stupid, accepting an open cup from someone I didn’t know. Sula and I figured out it must have been drugged because there’s no way I would have left the room without her.” Ward starts to speak, but I hold up my hand. “Please, let me get through this? Please,” I beseech him.
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word.
“To this day, I don’t know exactly what happened. Whether I just have a different body chemistry than other women or if the wrong dose was used because even though I couldn’t react normally by fighting them off while they touched me, I remember everything.”
“You said them?” The tic in his jaw becomes more pronounced.
“Yes. I did.”
Ward’s fists clench. “Will you tell me who?”
I shake my head. “No. Maybe later, but this is difficult enough. Can you understand that?”
“I’ll take whatever you’re willing to tell me.”
Relieved, I whisper, “I need to finish.”
“There’s more?” His voice comes out as a low growl that wraps around me, shoving away the demons if only for a little while.
Instead of answering him, I find the strength to continue. “I was saved from…from…”
“You weren’t raped?” His voice is flat.
“No. But only because they were interrupted by someone else. Sula came searching for me, and we managed to make it home. God, we did everything wrong from that point forward.”
“Why do you say that?”
“We never went to the infirmary. I never had my blood tested. I was bruised, but no one took pictures. I hid. I was terrified, Ward. Scared.”
“I think anyone in your situation would have been.”
“But when I found the courage to try to make things right, no one believed me.” I stand in front of Ward, trembling.
“You attempted to press charges?”
“I tried. I also went to the Student Conduct Board. Neither believed me. The only people who have are Sula, my grandparents, your sister, and Becks figured it out.” I wrap my arms around myself and look away. I don’t mention how his godfather recognized me from the media reports. I just can’t. Not now.
Later, I promise myself. Later.
Ward bites off a curse. “That’s why you and Becks became so close.”
I nod, unable to meet his eyes. “He doesn’t know the details of what I shared with you. He just recognized me for being a victim…”
“You’re no one’s victim. A survivor is much more accurate.” Ward’s words cause my head to whirl around, mouth agape.
